I've always had conflicting thoughts on whether or not I want to have children — and I know I'm not the only one.
I know there are a vast number of reasons people have decided against reproducing, and Reddit user u/tew1109 was curious about why that might be when they posted this thread asking Aussies if they want kids — as well as their reasons for why they don't.
1. "No. I can barely afford a dog, let alone a kid."
"Plus, I don't like kids. I don't want be around and responsible for one 24/7. I don't wanna bring life into this fucked up world. I don't wanna risk fucking up my body and/or mental health even more than it already is. The thought of being pregnant makes me want to throw up, and I'd be a really, really bad parent — even if for no other reason than that I don't want to be a parent."
2. "Childless, 44-year-old here. Having kids wasn't something I was really sold on. My ex and I did 'try', but he was also trying with my best friend at the time, so I'm glad I didn't fall pregnant to him."
"I am very happy not having any kids now. I definitely felt pressured into it when I was younger. All the questions go from, 'When are you getting married?' to 'When are you having babies?' — it's a vicious cycle. You should be able to do whatever you want in life and if not reproducing is one of those things, then all power to you."
—u/Ludio54
3. "I think a lot of the younger millennials, perhaps approaching or solidly in their thirties, battle with this question at the moment."
"The idea of it is nice, but the reality is that unless you are tracking well financially and have wealthy family around to help out, you are unlikely to be able to afford it. Most of us haven't even been able to buy a home yet."
4. "I'm 28 and have no kids. I also don’t realistically see myself having any."
"To do so would send me into crippling poverty. I honestly don’t see myself being able to afford them. I can afford a one-bedroom apartment on my own. It’s okay. But if I had kids as well? Nope. I’d have to live in the country, would be broke, and always tired from the extra 1-2 hours of travel each way to and from work — not to mention the extra work that comes with raising kids, the expense of childcare and food.
I wouldn’t have any time for myself and would be living pay check to pay check. Ain’t no way. There is just no way."
—u/MarioPfhorG
5. "Kids? In this economy?"
6. "Absolutely not, my husband and I are child-free by choice. I have never wanted children, to the point that on my husband and my first date (I was 22 then) I told him straight up I didn't want kids and that if he did, we shouldn't go on another date. Thankfully, he was on the same page!"
"I value my free time, uninterrupted sleep, peace and quiet. I love my nephews and godchildren, but visits with them continually reinforce why I don't want children. It's too much and it's not a life I am interested in living."
—u/djhacke
7. "I'm 33 and I'd rather do what I want, when I want, with who I want at all times."
"I’ve definitely thought about it, but I would never have them if I wasn’t 100% sure. It blows my mind how people make that decision with such little thought sometimes."
—u/lnonl
8. "I'm 42 and childfree. I have no regrets and likely never will. And if I do — who cares. I also regret not becoming an astronaut, but there you go."
9. "I personally don’t want kids, because I find it difficult to take care of myself as someone with autism."
"I really don’t want to think about how hard it could be for me to try and take care my own child. Things like finances, lack of sleep, needing to discipline my child and the lifelong commitment sounds like a nightmare to me. I admire those parents who kick it out of the park."
10. "I don't like children. I don't wish them harm, they are just something I have never wanted."
11. "I'm a 29-year-old female and there is no way I’d consider having a child. There are way more cons than pros."
"Don’t get me wrong. Having a child would be cool, but the world is a scary place right now. Every week there is something new, and it’s not good."
12. "I'm a 60-year-old female and never wanted them, so I never had them. I lived with a guy once who had a kid and did my best with that — but it only reinforced my choice. I've spent 20 years married to another childfree-by-choice person. We're happy and have no regrets."
13. "I had two boys in my mid-late 30s. It was absolutely life-changing, but I'm so glad I did."
—u/DMcI0013
14. "Some days I do, some days I don't, but it's a little late to give them back now."
—u/Kozeyekan_
15. "The best thing about being on the 'wrong' side of 40 is that people have just about stopped telling me that I’ll change my mind about not wanting children. I never wanted them, and my opinion never wavered as I got older."
"I got up at 11am yesterday, I didn’t have to consider the needs of anyone else, and it was glorious. I can do that every damn weekend if I want to."
—u/MeegieOz
16. "I am approaching 50 and my wife and I decided when we met in our mid-thirties not to have kids."
"There are eight billion people on this planet and I don't want to add to that issue. I can't afford them. I am selfish and want my free time, time with my wife, the ability to eat a meal from start to finish, the ability to finish a conversation, the ability to not do anything on my weekends, etc."
17. "As a father of two, it depends on the day you ask me. From a financial point of view, kids are the dumbest thing. I don’t regret having kids, but our attitude was if it happens it happens, if it doesn’t it doesn’t."
—u/tacocatfish
18. "I'm a married 39 year old female. My partner and I tried so much and didn't use any form of contraception. I saw a friend go through 13 years of IVF and knew it wasn't for me."
"I grew up in the church (now atheist) — and marriage and kids is how it's supposed to be, so I grew up wanting kids because I was taught to. When I actually 'grew up' (post believing in god), I quickly realised I honestly didn't mind either way, and my husband felt the same. If it happened it happened, if it didn't it didn't. It's been 12 years, so it's highly unlikely to happen now, and we've made peace with that."
19. "I'm in my late 20s and have been with my girlfriend for 10 years. I have no doubt that we could support a kid in the sense of emotional stability and providing a good home and family life — but I'm not sure we’ll ever be able to provide the financial comfort to them I’d deem necessary to start a family."
"I also feel like the things that provide meaningful life enrichment are harder to obtain nowadays, especially when you come from the lower-middle class. Plus, moving your family when you’re renting seems really stressful when you’re in a bigger unit. When it’s just the two of us, it’s awful, but not traumatic. I’d definitely feel differently if I thought I was any chance of owning a home in my 30s/40s."
20. "Nope. I don't even want a significant other, I just wanna live my life with every second dedicated to myself, not somebody else."
"Maybe that's selfish, but if I just don't start any friendships/relationships in the first place then it's not like I'm pushing anybody away to have time for myself."
21. And finally, "I’ve always said no because basically I feel like I’d be unsuited for it."
"I’d hate to end up turning into one of those 'not now, I’m busy' type of parents, which I can easily see happening and I feel like kids can pick up on when your heart’s not in it. I might be wrong — I might be great at it, but is it fair on a child to test that theory out?
I know too many people with kids who I wouldn’t trust with watching my lunch while I went to the bathroom, let alone a small human for X amount of years. Plus, the attitude some of them have about their kids, like it’s a burden dumped on them or a scam they were tricked into on top of the frankly insane methods of raising them some of them have is really disheartening.
It's the same reason why I’m not interested in marriage much. I’m surrounded by too many dysfunctional ones, which makes the pros seem to be outweighed by the cons. But at least with marriage, there’s the option of divorce. How do you do that with a child? You simply can’t. Maybe I’m a coward, but to me, the stakes of the gamble are far too high."
Now it's your turn — what are your opinions on having children and why? Let us know in the comments!
Reddit responses have been edited for length and/or quality.