We've all had those days where we feel like a piece of garbage.
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What Piece Of Human Garbage Are You?
You are addicted to work and caffeine and getting things done. Checklists are your life, and putting things off until tomorrow is absolutely not an option. You're a nonstop workaholic, but that's what gets you pumped up. There's no shame in the work game.
You spend more time choosing the perfect emoji than you spend outdoors. When people are having computer trouble, you're the first person they call. The soft blue light of your phone screen relaxes you as you go to bed, and that sweet xylophone tone makes your heart skip a beat. Technology is your best friend, and you aren't ashamed.
There is nothing wrong with loving the sweet, delicious taste of a to-go meal. You are a junk-food junkie and you don't care who knows it. Your dream date? A food tour of the closest drive-thrus with minimal talking and maximum eating. Oh, and a gas station slushie to wash it all down.
You are always trying to get your friends to go on a run with you, but nobody ever comes because you are a running machine. A meal is not complete without a pound of kale and a dozen raw eggs. You don't skip breakfast and you NEVER forget leg day. Health is your No. 1 priority and people stand in awe of your physical shape and mental persistence.
Some people might call you lazy, but you just call yourself relaxed. It's more time-efficient to buy a new pair of underwear than to go to the laundromat to do your laundry. Why waste the water? Saturdays are your favorite holiday and your bed is your favorite vacation spot. Everyone needs to take a chill pill and just sit down every once in a while.
You're a romantic, but you resent the phrase "hopeless romantic" with your whole heart. There is always hope for love, especially when you're on every dating app under the sun. You have every contestant's name on The Bachelorette memorized, and your favorite movie probably stars some combination of Kate Hudson, Reese Witherspoon, and Rachel McAdams. You love love, and there ain't nothing wrong with that.
CNN? MSNBC? FOX? Ridiculous. If you haven't checked TMZ and Entertainment Weekly's homepages by 9:00 a.m, you feel totally out of the loop. You are up-to-date on the latest celeb gossip and you have very strong opinions on what film should have won the 2009 Oscar. And, oh my god, the new episode is so good. And did you listen to the new song yet? No? What the heck are you wasting all of your time doing? Pop culture is your life.
You say the word "adorable" more times in a day than you can count. Your bedroom is lined with twinkling Christmas lights and hand-painted canvases. You chose your apartment because of its close proximity to the craft store and because it has exposed brick. Hallmark doesn't have anything on your handmade cards. You hear "I wish I was as crafty as you!" almost every day, and secretly, you don't mind hearing it at all. You're a crafter, and when you get an idea, there's nothing stopping you.
When you get to work, the first thing you do is whip out your lint brush to get rid of all of your pet's hair. The zoo is both the best and the worst place for you; all of the animals are so cute, but they look so sad in their cages! You follow more animals on Instagram than humans, but that is just the way you like it. Who wants to see an #ootd when you can see #catsofinstagram?