Reasons Why Everyone Is Engaged But Me: A Sampling
I have been on this earth for nearly 30 years and I still don't know how to accessorize.
Sometimes I lie and tell the dry cleaner that a dress is "just a really long shirt" so they'll charge me $3.75 instead of $10.
Last week I went four (4) days without showering.
I thought being loved would save me.
I am still riding the waves of goodwill I felt when I gave $20 to the beautiful boy who plays violin in my subway station. This was, like, eight months ago.
I keep saying I'm a vegetarian but a couple of…