California residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data.
"I can't, my best friend is in town. I mean, my other best friend."
Sometimes hugs warrant hurt.
Scheduled bathroom and snack times may be necessary, depending on how long it's been between play dates.
Who cares if they miss them too? Not you.
They always come back around.
Also known as all those weird thoughts you know you could never share with anyone else.
And you get that melancholy lonely, which can only occur when you're surrounded by a group of people you would trade for a certain one in a second.
Things that would mean they were a part of your everyday, regular, boring old routine.
If they weren't a million miles away.
And, if they ever seriously asked, you'd fly there in a second to throw shade at request.
Warning: This content would not be suitable for anyone else's eyes.
No serious relationship could possibly develop without the stamp of approval — because that dream of family holidays together has got to happen.
The more inappropriate, the more important, obviously.
And answer every call. No matter what they've got going on.
Because you both get that if you can't actually be there, you've got to be there, at the end of the phone.
In fact, they'd probably be taken completely the wrong way.
"Maybe tell me something I don't know."
Not that you would ever, under any circumstances, tell them.
*LIKE*
And you will prove them wrong.
The best part of this weekly viewing is the recap phone call that immediately follows.
And they reciprocate accordingly. Always.
Even though you already have the next visit completely booked.
And hurts some more.
However plain, boring, and generally less sparkly it may be.
That cruel, cruel world.
As long as you've got unlimited calls.
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