back to top

We Ate The World's Most Expensive Pie And It Nearly Killed Us

"I'll have the $12,000 dog's eye, thanks."

Posted on

Hello there. We're Mark and Gyan from BuzzFeed dot com the website, and as you are reading this, we are digesting the world's most expensive surf 'n' turf pie.

Before we begin this tale of bravery, perseverance and unashamed gilded gluttony, it's important to understand why a meat pie worth $12,000 exists.

Groupon Australia / Via youtube.com

The dish, affectionately known as the "Posh Pie" inside the kitchen where it was born at Paddington's Lord Dudley Hotel, was created to celebrate the sale of the two millionth Groupon voucher in Australia.

The pie's ~fancy pants~ ingredient list includes Australia's dearest wagyu eye fillet, West Australian rock lobsters, french truffles worth $180 a pop and German gold leaf.

Groupon Australia / Via youtube.com

Because what pie worth its tomato sauce is served without a good old slice of gold?

Advertisement

But, back to the story... It was the day we got to taste test this magical ~Posh Pie~ we'd heard so much about and we were bloody excited.

Pretty excited to be eating a $12,000 meat pie with @GyanYankovich today #GyanMarkPoshPie

There were big decisions to make from the moment we got out of bed.

OK @MarkDiStef, which of these is closest to posh? #GyanMarkPoshPie

And not everything went to plan...

My MAC Snob has melted into oblivion and there couldn't be a worse day for this discovery. #GyanMarkPoshPie

Advertisement

...but it was our big day and we'd be damned if we'd let anything ruin it.

Today's music inspiration: Posh Spice. #GyanMarkPoshPie

In other words, we were feeling the pie vibes HARD.

After a morning of posh preparation, we were almost ready. Gyan donned some faux-fur, and Mark pushed every human boundary, growing a moustache for the occasion.

@MarkDiStef and I are on our way to try the world's most expensive pie. Will it be Yuck or Yaaass? #GyanMarkPoshPie

We even purchased novelty top hats.

His and Hers top hats were obviously a must. #GyanMarkPoshPie

Yes, PURCHASED. With real-life money.

By the time we arrived at the pie's humble abode we were FEELING IT. We were #posh and in the mood for pie.

We're ready for our pies now. #GyanMarkPoshPie

Advertisement

We had an entire goddamn old-time-y photo shoot for crying out loud.

No seriously where the hell are the pies #GyanMarkPoshPie

(It's at this point we'd like to remind you all to, please, hold your celebrations and praise until the post's end.)

Still awaiting our little slice of heaven, we shared a beer with the pie's co-creator Nathan Flint.

Anna Mendoza / BuzzFeed

He said the pie would be with us soon.

He also said he liked our hats.

Probably.

IT WAS THEN THAT THE PIE ARRIVED.

The first thing to mention is the smell. Our senses were delighted by a mix of crispened truffles, golden pastry and the slightest hint of red wine musk.

IT WAS THE PRETTIEST PIE IN ALL THE LAND.

Anna Mendoza / BuzzFeed

The presentation was delicate and the colours were an exercise in contrast. The black of the truffle against the gold of the gold transported us to a third-dimension where everyone wears Adidas tracksuits, and drinks top shelf liquor.

It was heaven, and we were right there in it.

Advertisement

We dug right in. Like any true Aussie does when presented with a freshly baked dog's eye.

Anna Mendoza / BuzzFeed

The obvious disappointment was immediate. Where was the pastry bottom? We were struck by the age old question: Do crockpot meat pies mean you’re eating glorified steak stew?

Was this a $12,000 stew?

We kept eating. We let the pie take over.

Anna Mendoza / BuzzFeed

It was time for the chunks of steak, strips of beef and globules of lobster to really shine. What hell had we sliced into? The lobster was the true winner. The beef filled most of the pie and, to be completely honest, it was a great loss that the Penfolds Grange had been lost in the meaty richness of the dish.

For the first time, we were introduced to the struggles of eating something that's worth more than you have in your bank account.

When you eat the world's most expensive pie it's easy to get gold on your nose. #poshpie #GyanMarkPoshPie

A ~Rich Kids Of BuzzFeed~ worthy mess.

Second impression: @GyanYankovich looks like she has a golden cocaine habit #GyanMarkPoshPie

Watching ourselves shovel forkful after forkful into our cheap mouths, we felt a sadness deep within. We were raised on pub meals, cheap steaks and servo pies. Perhaps this pie was beyond us.

Perhaps, we were not worthy of its greatness?

Advertisement

In an overwhelming moment of self-doubt, we asked for some tomato sauce.

These are my life goals #GyanMarkPoshPie

Because maaaaaaaaaate.

We craved chippies, and maybe a small side salad.

"I would have like some sides" - @GyanYankovich after eating a $12,000 pie #GyanMarkPoshPie

NGL IT WOULD HAVE BEEN NICE.

And then we were done, and we had a lot of thoughts. We put our new #PoshPower to the test and for a moment swapped our top hats for thinking hats. (Not literally though, because who on Earth would give up a top hat?!)

Anna Mendoza / BuzzFeed

As we scooped the final remnants from the white kitchenware, we looked at each other, our stomachs bursting with over-priced produce, our mouths coated with privilege, and asked each other: Was this pie worth the price? Was it worth knowing that this dish could have paid our rent for two years? And, most importantly, could we have a nap when we got back to the office?

The TL:DR version?

Would I pay $12,000 for the pie? Don't be silly I've never had that much money.