Hello there. We're Mark and Gyan from BuzzFeed dot com the website, and as you are reading this, we are digesting the world's most expensive surf 'n' turf pie.
Before we begin this tale of bravery, perseverance and unashamed gilded gluttony, it's important to understand why a meat pie worth $12,000 exists.
The pie's ~fancy pants~ ingredient list includes Australia's dearest wagyu eye fillet, West Australian rock lobsters, french truffles worth $180 a pop and German gold leaf.
Naturally, the pie also contains Australia's most iconic wine, Penfolds Grange.
And yeah, it costs $12,000 AUSTRALIAN DOLLARS.
But, back to the story... It was the day we got to taste test this magical ~Posh Pie~ we'd heard so much about and we were bloody excited.
There were big decisions to make from the moment we got out of bed.
And not everything went to plan...
...but it was our big day and we'd be damned if we'd let anything ruin it.
After a morning of posh preparation, we were almost ready. Gyan donned some faux-fur, and Mark pushed every human boundary, growing a moustache for the occasion.
We even purchased novelty top hats.
By the time we arrived at the pie's humble abode we were FEELING IT. We were #posh and in the mood for pie.
We had an entire goddamn old-time-y photo shoot for crying out loud.
Still awaiting our little slice of heaven, we shared a beer with the pie's co-creator Nathan Flint.
IT WAS THEN THAT THE PIE ARRIVED.
IT WAS THE PRETTIEST PIE IN ALL THE LAND.
We dug right in. Like any true Aussie does when presented with a freshly baked dog's eye.
We kept eating. We let the pie take over.
For the first time, we were introduced to the struggles of eating something that's worth more than you have in your bank account.
A ~Rich Kids Of BuzzFeed~ worthy mess.
In an overwhelming moment of self-doubt, we asked for some tomato sauce.
We craved chippies, and maybe a small side salad.
And then we were done, and we had a lot of thoughts. We put our new #PoshPower to the test and for a moment swapped our top hats for thinking hats. (Not literally though, because who on Earth would give up a top hat?!)