122 Thoughts You Have When You Revisit Sizzler As An Adult

    "Can I still start with dessert?"

    1. I haven't been to this place since I was a kid.

    2. It used to be amazing.

    3. I'm kind of scared it won't live up to the glorious memories I have.

    4. It definitely won't.

    5. They'd better still have soft serve though.

    6. As long as they have that, everything should be OK.

    7. WOAH it actually hasn't changed since the '90s.

    8. Is that a good thing or a bad thing though?

    9. I also feel like it used to be a lot bigger.

    10. Then again, I was a LOT smaller last time I came here.

    11. But also, like, no wonder it's closing down.

    12. Poor Sizzler.

    13. :'(

    14. OK, let's have a look at this menu.

    15. You can get things for like, $30?

    16. I thought everything would be $7.50.

    17. Damn you, inflation. DAMN YOU TO HELL.

    18. I should order a steak, I guess. Isn't that the point of Sizzler?

    19. OK, time to find a table.

    20. That was easy.

    21. Almost too easy.

    22. Poor Sizzler.

    23. OMG CHEESE BREAD.

    24. Yaasss.

    25. This bread is, like, famous, right?

    26. Oh yes. It is. And I can see why.

    27. Come to me, bread.

    28. I hope we can order more.

    29. I guess I should get some ~salad~.

    30. Sizzler has a very loose definition of salad.

    31. Like, that's not even pasta salad, that's literally just pasta.

    32. OMG POTATO SKINS.

    33. Yaasss.

    34. I don't think they had these when I was a kid?

    35. I feel like I would remember them.

    36. They should probably get rid of half these "salads" and just have ten types of potato skins tbh.

    37. I want to try literally everything.

    38. As long as there's room on my plate for more skins, and room in my stomach for more bread, I'll be fine.

    39. OK I think I may have overloaded my plate just little bit.

    40. I feel like there was so many more options when I was younger.

    41. Then again, I think I just ate the ice cream.

    42. How long should I wait after my "salad" to get dessert?

    43. Is two minutes long enough?

    44. Should I just order more cheese bread?

    45. Of course I should.

    46. Then I should get seconds.

    47. I mean, when will I be at Sizzler again anyway?!

    48. And I need another drink.

    49. God filling up your own drink is satisfying.

    50. Yaasss - look at me - I basically work at Sizzler, filling up drinks and shit.

    51. I'm definitely not going to put in, like, eight different sodas, and make a gross concoction like when I was a kid though.

    52. Or am I?

    53. No, no, I'm not.

    54. I am adult.

    55. An adult at Sizzler, yes - but an adult nonetheless.

    56. Now, when is my extra cheese bread getting here?

    57. This food actually isn't that bad.

    58. Like, I thought it might be really, really bad.

    59. And it's not even bad at all.

    60. Poor Sizzler. So misunderstood.

    61. I definitely did NOT need to order a steak.

    62. What was I thinking?

    63. I guess I thought salad would be actual salad - not bread, pasta, and fried potato.

    64. I've made a big mistake.

    65. Finally - my steak is here.

    66. I don't even want this.

    67. I want more non-salad!

    68. Ugh I'm super full now.

    69. DESSERT TIME.

    70. OMG LOOK AT ALL THE DESSERT.

    71. OMG ICE CREAM.

    72. OMG MOUSSE.

    73. OMG THE GODDAMN APPLE CRUMBLE.

    74. How did I forget about Sizzler apple crumble until now?

    75. That used to be so good!

    76. Oh wait, am I thinking of Pizza Hut?

    77. Whatever, I'm getting some NOW!

    78. And some jelly.

    79. Didn't that used to be cut into cubes?

    80. No, that was DEFINITELY Pizza Hut.

    81. Whatever, I just want ice cream.

    82. And mousse.

    83. And pudding.

    84. OK I want everything.

    85. Will people judge me if I get multiple desserts?

    86. This is Sizzler. THIS IS THE WHOLE POINT.

    87. Why did I waste all that stomach space on ~salad~ when I could have just had five courses of dessert?

    88. That person is getting ice cream AND pudding.

    89. Fuck it, I'm loading up.

    90. Why are these bowls so small?

    91. Don't try and teach me portion control, Sizzler.

    92. I am an adult, and this is a BIG DAY FOR ME.

    93. OMG chocolate or vanilla ice cream though?

    94. Vanilla. Classic.

    95. What happened to the banana?

    96. The banana soft serve used to be the SHIT.

    97. Omg what am I gonna put on my ice cream now?

    98. There are SO MANY OPTIONS.

    99. I'll stick with the sprinkles. Can't go wrong.

    100. Maybe some of these choc drops too.

    101. And these chocolate biscuit bits.

    102. Oh, and some topping.

    103. Why can't I just eat dessert for my whole life?

    104. Because then I'd miss out on cheese bread and potato skins - that's why.

    105. I wonder what potato skins would taste like dipped in ice cream...

    106. Ho don't do it.

    107. Nah, actually - do it.

    108. DAMN.

    109. How am I even going to carry all of these desserts back to the table?

    110. I should finish that cheese bread before I start on this.

    111. No I shouldn't.

    112. Eh, whatever - it's all going to end up in the same place. I'm doing it.

    113. OK I am not feeling good about myself right now.

    114. Nope.

    115. I feel terrible.

    116. Honestly, why did I eat so much?

    117. I'm so fucking full.

    118. I feel siiiick.

    119. I'm so ashamed of everything that just happened in the past hour.

    120. I'm never coming back here.

    121. That's a lie, I probably will.

    122. Pls don't leave us, Sizzler.

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