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21 Tweets For Women That Are So Real It Hurts A Little

"My exclamation key button broke and now all my emails sound like they were written by a man."

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1.

Hairdresser: What are your plans for the weekend? Me: Nothing, ok? Every time nothing

@natalietran / Twitter / Via Twitter: @natalietran

2.

hey it's me, your friend who ignores everything going on in the group text and then chimes in every six days with a single "omg"

@AshleyFetters / Twitter / Via Twitter: @AshleyFetters

3.

of all the times I've broken a nail in my life 95% of them have been from trying to open a pistachio

@csydelko / Twitter / Via Twitter: @csydelko

4.

every time I see someone running in an airport I spiritually connect with them. like bitch I get u this my life run sweetie make that flight

@tanamongeau / Twitter / Via Twitter: @tanamongeau

5.

[me buying expensive wine that I do not deserve and have not earned] I deserve this. I have earned this

@LucyXIV / Twitter / Via Twitter: @LucyXIV

6.

"LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE." commands the small cushion. You whisper "I'm trying" but that only makes it angrier

@figgled / Twitter / Via Twitter: @figgled

7.

my exclamation key button broke and now all my emails sound like they were written by a man

@jazzedloon / Twitter / Via Twitter: @jazzedloon

8.

I was just at a mixer and I mixed the shit out of it jk not really I talked only to who I knew then left

@KarenKilgariff / Twitter / Via Twitter: @KarenKilgariff

9.

eating almonds: (seconds 1-3) mmmn! (seconds 4-273) wait how do i get all this dirt out of my mouth oh god make it stop

@sbellelauren / Twitter / Via Twitter: @sbellelauren

10.

If you call your significant other your "partner in crime" I will have u arrested

@DanaSchwartzzz / Twitter / Via Twitter: @DanaSchwartzzz

11.

my body: WATER please I need it me: you - you want iced coffee??

@lainekdavis / Twitter / Via Twitter: @lainekdavis

12.

it's so weird how girls just know....idk how we know?? shit, half the time we don't even know what we know, but like we know

@maddie_redmon / Twitter / Via Twitter: @maddie_redmon

13.

do ur boobs ever just like not match your outfit like does that make sense to anyone else

@oliviafarmerr_ / Twitter / Via Twitter: @oliviafarmerr_

14.

me: skincare! my other organs: please help us .

@smeezi / Twitter / Via Twitter: @smeezi

15.

My movements can be tracked exactly by simply following the trail of lip balms I have lost throughout my life

@Brocklesnitch / Twitter / Via Twitter: @Brocklesnitch

16.

I wish there were a specific ring you could wear that meant "I'm not married but I don't want men to talk to me"

@meganamram / Twitter / Via Twitter: @meganamram

17.

I have p low self esteem for someone who always googles celebs to see if they're single after I wake up from a sex dream about them

@annadrezen / Twitter / Via Twitter: @annadrezen

18.

literally just saw a 10 year old girl wearing a shirt with sparkles that said "doing my best" fucking same bitch where'd you get that

@summerjscott / Twitter / Via Twitter: @summerjscott

19.

How confused about the world are you right now, on a scale of 0 to "trying to figure out a friend's shower"

@MaraWilson / Twitter / Via Twitter: @MaraWilson

20.

the worst part about meeting new people is having to tell your life story like it's a coherent narrative you endorse

@hiitsmolly / Twitter / Via Twitter: @hiitsmolly

21.

Don't cry because it's over, smile because a man told you to.

@jenstatsky / Twitter / Via Twitter: @jenstatsky

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