13 Signs You're At One True Blue Aussie BBQ

Cliché Factor: 5000. Hold onto your stubbie coolers, you guys.

1. There's a box of these going 'round.

Closely followed by one almost-empty dip - nothin' too fancy, of course - most likely some classic french onion.

2. Nobody's bothered to ask what cabanossi is actually made from.

Nah - just stick that shit with a cheese cube and you've got yourself the ultimate hors d'oeuvre.

3. There are prawns galore.

None of which are being referred to as "shrimp" or being thrown on a barbie.

4. "Want a beer, mate?"

There's a whooollllllllleeeeeee fridge full.

5. "Or are you sticking to the soft stuff?"

Maybe you have to drive? Maybe you're hung as? Maybe the beers aren't ice cold yet? No matter the reason, you're going with Kirks - probably stocked by the case.

6. The fly to human ratio is totally outta whack.

Your arms have never had such a workout. You've never felt closer to defeat.

7. "Pass us the fly spray..."

Because if you don't - I might just lose my mind. Or an arm - if the mozzies come out too.

8. There's a sprinkler - just to run under.

Because real pools are for fools. AMIRIGHT?!

9. Running/walking/living can only happen in thongs. Beware the cat-heads.

I repeat: BEWARE THE CAT-HEADS!

10. Someone's chucked some Cold Chisel on.

Because music creates the perfect ambiance for any fine occasion.

11. You are reminded that you come from a land down under.

Allegedly, it's a place where beer does flow - oh, and men chunder.

12. "Snag or steak?"

Or a chicken kebab - straight from the Coles deli - if you're feeling a little gourmet.

13. The ultimate condiment is the greatest commodity.

Because what's the good of having a BBQ if you can't smother everything in sight in a layer of apparently-grill-flavoured brown.