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Sugar Gliders Are Not Awesome

After seeing this and this [NSFW] (the shapes, the shapes haunt me), I had to wash my brain, and nothing is cuter than a sugar glider right? Wrong.

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  • They lull you with their cuteness

    This Albino is a master of the craft.

  • Then they fly at you

    Seriously, they fly at you!!!

  • What if this was your face

  • Off of doors

  • Out of closets

  • They do this unexpectedly

  • And sit on your head

  • They listen to Radiohead

    Which means they are either pretentious or have better taste than you, bad news either way.

  • They bite

  • But they bite goths, too

  • They Make this Noise

    That noise says "I hate you" in every available frequency.

  • They Crawl All over your Body

    And your Siblings won't save you either.

  • And there is a litnany of other reasons to not own a sugar glider

    These are legitimate reasons not like those other ones.