1. You texted your ex.
2. You called your ex.
3. You emailed your ex.
4. You read an email you sent your ex in happier times.
5. You read an email your ex sent you in happier times. And then you cried.
6. You cried when your mean email account suggested that you email your ex. NO I DO NOT WANT TO ADD MY EX TO THE CONVERSATION, you shouted at the screen through your tears.
7. You wished your ex was dead.
8. You wished your ex was here, with you.
9. You went to a place that you and your ex used to go to, to "reclaim it, to blow away the cobwebs, you know." And then you cried.
10. You followed your ex on Twitter.
11. You unfollowed your ex on Twitter.
12. You followed, then unfollowed, then followed your ex on Twitter, all in one pathetic five minutes.
13. You checked who.unfollowed.me to find out whether your ex was still following you on Twitter.
14. You wrote something "sassy" on Twitter.
15. You wrote something "sassy" on Twitter. And then deleted it. And then you cried.
16. You told a story that mentioned your ex. (You claimed your ex was integral to the narrative but actually you could have told the story without ever mentioning your ex.)
17. You looked at your ex's Facebook.
18. You looked at your ex's ex's Facebook.
19. You looked at you ex's sister's Facebook.
20. You looked at your ex's friend who you never liked's Facebook.
21. You looked at all the pictures of you and your ex on Facebook.
22. You changed your Facebook profile photo to a photo in which you "look like you're having a lot of fun." And then you cried.
23. You smelled somebody who smelled like your ex on the street. And you followed them for a bit. Just smelling them.
24. You looked at your ex's Instagram.
25. You took your ex's activity on Instagram to mean that your ex was having a wonderful time without you.
26. You took your ex's inactivity on Instagram to mean that your ex was having a wonderful time without you.
27. You uploaded a selfie to Instagram and captioned it with #FUN and #GOODTIMES. And then you cried.
28. You drove or walked by your ex's house. It isn't the only route and you know it.
29. You saw the face of your ex everywhere only to realise at the last minute that it wasn't your ex at all.
30. You found a T-shirt that once belonged to your ex and you clutched it desperately to your nose, smelling it.
31. You said, "It's not even my ex I miss really, it's my ex's family." (OK sure but you also just miss your ex.)
32. You listened to that song. You know the one.
33. You listened to that other song. And then you cried.
34. You had sex with somebody who wasn't your ex and after the sex you told a post-coital anecdote about your ex.
35. You had sex with your ex.