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    20 Hilarious Tweets That Will Make You Think Twice About Having Kids

    C'mon. They're sticky and loud!

    1.

    does it even matter if babies get switched at the hospital like who cares

    2.

    oh your son is 73 months old that's cool i literally i have no idea if he's five or forty two

    3.

    *someone hands me a baby* Oh... no thank you *places baby on the ground*

    4.

    Your baby is hot. Is that what you wanted to hear

    5.

    Gather 'round, children! Once upon a time, there was a group of such ugly children that I'm actually going to need you all to move back

    6.

    Sorry I referred to your four children as "a franchise that gets weaker with each installment."

    7.

    *pats crying child on the back* "There, there" *child keeps crying* "Did you not just hear when I said, 'There, there'? Shut up, already"

    8.

    [wildlife refuge] "See the majestic falcon flying" *everybody looks* *falcon grabs my baby and carries him away* "Oh my god NOOO" Me: YESS

    9.

    Should the flight I'm on crash, know that the children seated around me were truly terrible, do not mourn

    10.

    11.

    "Won't someone think of the children?" "No," said a brave voice in the back. "The children are dull and often covered in something sticky."

    12.

    sorry i vomited on your baby. i mistook him for another baby

    13.

    "daddy where do babies come from" "we just don't know, sweetie...*peers through blinds, the sky is dark with babies* "...we just don't know"

    14.

    at one point, every man named Gary was a baby and was introduced by his parents as "This is my baby, Gary" how fucked up is that shit

    15.

    *listens patiently while my preschooler explains their fingerpainting* yeeeah i dunno sounds like a buncha bullshit to me

    16.

    Dad, why does a full moon have a beautiful blue glow around it? I don't know, son. Maybe you should shut the fuck up.

    17.

    For starters, you drew your mom the same size as the house. Good enough for the fridge? I don't even want it in my garbage.

    18.

    Missing child found inside claw machine in #Lincoln bowling alley: http://t.co/XtIK39sEXF

    19.

    I wish Febreeze would work on my middle daughter Kirsten who is garbage

    20.

    When I pick my daughter up from day care she screams “DADDY!” and runs towards me for a hug and it’s like be cool bitch you look desperate.