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Posted on Sep 30, 2015

40 Tweets About Parents That Will Make You Laugh Out Loud

Parents just don't understand.

1.

*son walks in as mom hides her urban dictionary word-of-the-day calendar* Mom: How was school? Son: ok Mom: Had a real trill lunch with Nona

2.

I'm a single mom *cheers for son at soccer game* I know how hard it can be out there for us *high fives kid* that's why I always Hail Satan

3.

I'm a mom *waves at kids as they run to the bus stop* My family is important to me *smooches husband* that's why I'd never forget about Dre

4.

"would that be a meme?" -my mom looking at someone's profile picture

5.

thank god my mom is visiting so that i can finally know what every single sign we pass says

6.

7.

"Mommy, I don't wanna grow up and die!" "Oh. Well, you can die at any age, really."

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9.

Whenever my mom types "here", her phone autocorrects it to the Gettysburg Address. lol

10.

my mother's review of Lord of The Rings: "there were not enough women & there were too many trees"

11.

lol, I changed "no" on my mom and dads phones

12.

13.

Extremely mysterious (empty) email from my dad

14.

im just a dad, standing in front of Hollister, waiting for my wife and daughters to fucking die

15.

16.

I'm unpredictable. Like a dad on a field trip.

17.

Waitresses and 'funny' dads are mortal enemies

18.

This is why I haven't accepted my dad's friend request.

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20.

The time my dad stared at an empty email draft to a friend on his computer screen and asked, "Can he...see me?" will forever haunt my dreams

21.

whenever I lose a follower, I think of a wistful dad I once overheard at the zoo who, after a snow leopard slunk away, sighed, "There he go"

22.

I'm lost at Costco but everyone here looks like my dad. Just gonna pick the one with the best groceries and start a new life I guess.

23.

Anything can be a sport if your dad yells at you enough

24.

It's like my Dad used to always say: "Get away from me."

25.

my dad, who rarely writes emails that contain more than 5 words, once wrote me a 2 pg description of a turtle he found in a field

26.

Mom? Dad? if you forget even once to say 'drive safe' I swear to god I'll roll my car right off a cliff.

27.

28.

My dad just almost said something that sounded like "Mary Tyler Moesha." 78 year old man can't even email & he makes better tweets than I do

29.

"Dad can we play catch?" Hold on *puts on sunglasses, doesn't move* "...well can we?" Damn these are supposed to keep the son outta my eyes

30.

[gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway

31.

Me: u dont get it Dad: if yung trill vibes told u to jump off a bridge would u do that too? Me: dad, yung trill vibes would never say that

32.

Sorry I yelled "killin' it" when your mom was eating that banana.

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34.

My dad stayed in NYC last night. He went to Cafe Grumpy and asked the barista if she knew "his daughter who lives next door." 😭

35.

I got my mom's eyes and my dad's saying "they showed us the whole movie" after a long trailer

36.

My mom be putting ordinary shit into other shit. We don't need this for listerine. I feel like I'm in Harry Potter

37.

38.

[Speech Therapy] Therapist: Repeat after me: I’m thirsty Dad: I’m…thirsty T: I’m hungry D: I’m…H...Hi Hungry, I’m Dad T: *throws clipboard*

39.

The first rule of dad club is shut the goddamn door on your way in, we're not trying to heat the whole outdoors here.

40.

Just 4 dads doing dad stuff being dads

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