23 Hilarious Tweets About Being A Grown-Ass Adult

I’m just so tired.

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Stressed about finals? Dont be. I never used to study. Failed exams. Did I pursue my dream anyway? No. Has it worked out? Also no

— sara (@mrsjohngoodman)
7.

MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking.

— an actual ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul)
8.

earth sucks nothing works. only like 2 volcanoes ever go off. have to wash dishes before i put them in the dishwasher. so tired of this shit

— KING RAINHEAD (@KingRainhead)
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i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die

— pascalle (@frenchielaboozi)
10.

"I REALLY THINK THIS IS THE EYESHADOW PALETTE THAT'S GONNA TURN IT ALL AROUND FOR ME" I scream-cried at the Sephora cashier

— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff)
11.

*expects a specific thing to happen* *something different happens• oh no

— scary name™ (@warmyellowlight)
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[moves to the busiest city in the world] leave me alone

— Ari Scott (@ariscott)
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Sometimes I'll take a nap to fast-forward a couple of hours I'm too bored to live through

— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123)
14.

The "Ooooo" the audience makes during a sitcom kiss but for me when I finally take a shower.

— Pin Up Teacher (@pinupteacher)
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RT if you woke up questioning your entire life so far and stressing about the uncertainty of your future and just gave up and got bagels

— Dan Ozzi (@danozzi)
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stages of being tired: 1. I'm fine 2. man I'm tired 3. I can push through this 4. TIME AND SPACE DO NOT EXIST; I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN

— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis)
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people aren't allowed to be better than me and younger than me. choose one

— fion-ahhh!!! (@lustcluster)
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I had a nightmare that I had a voicemail

— Lucia Aniello (@LuciaAniello)
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I end every story about my past with "but just look at me now" to get compliments. even a story about a weird dog I saw that morning

— Cohen is a homestuck (@skullmandible)
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to all those people that said i would never be successful: how did u accurately predict the future. please use your powers to help me

— dante (online) (@respected_loner)
21.

Sorry it took so long to text you back, I was just eating dinner and my phone died and I left my phone in the other room and some other lie.

— Jamie Woodham (@jwoodham)
22.

I don't think I've never been in love, but I've most certainly been in debt

— Hot Dog Wiener (@googleymoogley)
23.

To child: The good news is that when you're a grownup, you can eat ice cream for dinner. The bad news is that it's because you're depressed.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett)

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