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23 Hilarious Tweets About Being A Grown-Ass Adult

I'm just so tired.

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1.

when you're too lazy to do your laundry but you don't have any clothes left

2.

is it bad to water ur plants w seltzer or is it fancy

3.

I want to die surrounded by all of my LinkedIn connections

4.

Crazy how people more successful than me are lucky and people less successful than me haven't worked as hard

5.

I have decided to stop answering my phone because people have been using it to talk to me

6.

Stressed about finals? Dont be. I never used to study. Failed exams. Did I pursue my dream anyway? No. Has it worked out? Also no

7.

MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU ME: *realize I won't have to pay student loans back if I'm dead* MUGGER: ??? ME: I'm thinking.

8.

earth sucks nothing works. only like 2 volcanoes ever go off. have to wash dishes before i put them in the dishwasher. so tired of this shit

9.

i can't believe i have to keep washing this stupid body until i die

10.

"I REALLY THINK THIS IS THE EYESHADOW PALETTE THAT'S GONNA TURN IT ALL AROUND FOR ME" I scream-cried at the Sephora cashier

11.

*expects a specific thing to happen* *something different happens• oh no

12.

[moves to the busiest city in the world] leave me alone

13.

Sometimes I'll take a nap to fast-forward a couple of hours I'm too bored to live through

14.

The "Ooooo" the audience makes during a sitcom kiss but for me when I finally take a shower.

15.

RT if you woke up questioning your entire life so far and stressing about the uncertainty of your future and just gave up and got bagels

16.

stages of being tired: 1. I'm fine 2. man I'm tired 3. I can push through this 4. TIME AND SPACE DO NOT EXIST; I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN

17.

people aren't allowed to be better than me and younger than me. choose one

18.

I had a nightmare that I had a voicemail

19.

I end every story about my past with "but just look at me now" to get compliments. even a story about a weird dog I saw that morning

20.

to all those people that said i would never be successful: how did u accurately predict the future. please use your powers to help me

21.

Sorry it took so long to text you back, I was just eating dinner and my phone died and I left my phone in the other room and some other lie.

22.

I don't think I've never been in love, but I've most certainly been in debt

23.

To child: The good news is that when you're a grownup, you can eat ice cream for dinner. The bad news is that it's because you're depressed.

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