1.
my movie about horses with attitudes "Straight Outta Clomptown"
2.
"You have to look at the big picture" - Aggressive museum guard
3.
*submits manuscript to publisher* "Sir, is this a drawing of two pie charts having sex?" "No, it's a draft of my new graph-fuck novel."
4.
I will never write something this good. Never.
5.
what idiot called him alexander graham bell instead of the lord of the rings
6.
it was the busta rhymes, it was the wursta rhymes
7.
And good Jovi to you, sir
8.
"What should we call this thing in the ocean that is land?" How about island? "Seems too obvious" What if we pronounced it weird "Perfect"
9.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.
10.
Hey, thanks for defining the word "many" for me. It means a lot.
11.
I'll never forget where I was the day I figured out how to read maps.
12.
Kanye West opening a breakfast restaurant called 'Omelette You Finish'
13.
Why are they called territorial disputes and not ground beef
14.
what idiot named them jet skis instead of boatercycles
15.
I've got to say this John Wilkes Photo Booth takes amazing Headshots
16.
i sneezed and someone responded by giving me a pair of those glasses with the fake nose and mustache attached. it was a blessing in disguise
17.
And the award for best neckwear goes to.. Well would you look at that, it's a tie
18.
Tumblr moms choose Gif.
19.
what idiot called it "Car Repair" instead of "Autocorrect"
20.
"I piy the fool!" – Missed a 't'
21.
What idiot called it a vet instead of a dogtor.