1. Darius Parker (S7, S8) Via assets.nydailynews.com!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen Darius has a lot of baggage that he's carrying around, which can all be summed up by the fact that Detective Tutuola is his uncle / brother-in-law. Basically Darius hates everyone and ends up murdering a woman, but since he's played by Ludacris we'll let him "move bitch" right into our hearts. 2. Charlie Baker (S4) Via usanetwork.com Ian Somerhalder's character is pretty high on the disgusting criminal list, but this hottie hasn't aged a day since the episode aired over ten years ago. Maybe this Vampire Diaries star really is immortal. 3. Ken Turner (S12) Via weddingdressinplussize.com Ken Turner (played by John Stamos) dreams of bedding lots of women and boy oh boy does he. In this episode he fathers over twenty children by different mothers and promises that he loves them all. The best part? Baby daddy extraordinaire doesn't get charged with anything. Of course, he doesn't have a happy ending either. 4. Harry Baker (S3) Via pinterest.com Michael Pitt nails the Hanson look in his role as Harry Baker. The slightly greasy hair feels appropriate for a creepy genius with a penchant for hurting animals. 5. Brett Morton (S6) Via vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net This one goes out to everyone who loves a silver fox. Dr. Morton (played by Kyle MacLachlan) is a psychiatrist who isn't even the main criminal of this episode. But nonetheless he pulls the trigger on our hearts. 6. Noah Sibert (S10) Via static.tvgcdn.net Look at that jawline! The intensity! Noah Sebert might be a perverted criminal but we could look at the actor playing him (Luke Perry) all day. 7. Sean Albert (S13) Via static.tvgcdn.net James Van Der Beek plays a man who doesn't really murder anyone, but he sure is icky. But then again, he's James Van Der Beek so we'll forgive him just this once. 8. Kevin Wilcox (S6) Via vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net Handsome athlete almost gets away with it. Now where have we heard that story before? Zach Gilford looks like a total lacrosse bro but there's something to be said for a man in a uniform. 9. Garrett Perle (S6) Via images.critictoo.com Garrett (played by Seth Gabel) loves video games so much that he commits a murder that replicas one of his favorite games. So, no, he's probably not boyfriend material. But look at those dimples!