This week on The Bachelorette, Chad returns from the grave like a Brontë character and nearly spooks Daniel into dropping his mac and cheese. Jojo attempts to audition for Law and Order: SVU by faux-interrogating Jordan and does not book it. Wells dies of sunburn in South America. Evan hires Andi the lawyer (remember her?) to sue Chad for a new shirt.
Will Vinny the barber start cutting off people's heads and making them into Hot Pockets like a modern-day Sweeney Todd? Does Evan qualify for welfare since the only shirt in his possession has been ripped? What is the deal with this other Chad? Is he a Kennedy, maybe? Throw some cucumber slices over your eyes and let's get started.