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21 Signs Blackpool Pleasure Beach Is Your Spirit Home

A superior Alton Towers.

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1. You still get a tingle of excitement when you see Noah's Ark.

Even on your 24th visit.
Flickr: rollercoasterphilosophy / Creative Commons

Even on your 24th visit.

2. But that's nothing compared to the feeling of getting on your first ride of the day.

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Which ALWAYS has to be the Grand National, because it's the first one you get to after sprinting through the gate.

3. You try to build up slowly.

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Anybody for the River Caves?

4. But you always crack and go on the Big One too soon.

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After all, the main reason you're at Blackpool Pleasure Beach on a mid-September Tuesday is to ride it 17 times. Right?

5. And take that climb to the end of the earth.

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6. Because how can you resist this?

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7. You have to get a photo of the Laughing Man every time you visit.

Gordon Pal / BuzzFeed

8. And you're proud that he doesn't scare you any more.

Let's just forget that time you started crying next to him... when you were 14.
Gordon Pal / BuzzFeed

Let's just forget that time you started crying next to him... when you were 14.

9. You know fully well that you will get soaking wet on Valhalla.

Their propaganda won't fool you.
Gordon Pal / BuzzFeed

Their propaganda won't fool you.

10. And there's no chance you're paying £1.80 for a rain cape when you can nick one out of the bin at the end of the ride.

You're just doing your bit to help the planet.
Gordon Pal / BuzzFeed

You're just doing your bit to help the planet.

11. Afterwards, you obviously head to the Ice Blast.

The world's most exhilarating hairdryer.
Flickr: ingythewingy

The world's most exhilarating hairdryer.

12. You have very mixed opinions about ride sponsorship.

You still call Revolution "The Irn Bru", but God help anyone who refers to the Big One as "The Pepsi Max". And people who still mistake the Ice Blast for "The Playstation" are just showing their age.
Gordon Pal / BuzzFeed

You still call Revolution "The Irn Bru", but God help anyone who refers to the Big One as "The Pepsi Max". And people who still mistake the Ice Blast for "The Playstation" are just showing their age.

13. You really miss the log flume.

14. But now you get to go on Infusion instead.

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15. And although you'll never forget your old favourites...

Even though the Wild Mouse has given you many near death experiences.
Flickr: fishyfish / Creative Commons

Even though the Wild Mouse has given you many near death experiences.

16. You have to admit that Infusion is pretty blummin' awesome.

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Those loops!

17. You're very envious of the guy who broke the roller coaster-riding world record on the Big Dipper.

There's a plaque commemorating Richard Rodriguez riding the Big Dipper for 1,000 hours in 1998. He later broke his own record, riding it for 2,000 hours. After the Guinness World Records changed the rules of roller coaster-riding, he broke it again on the Big One in 2007.
Flickr: eatmorechips / Creative Commons

There's a plaque commemorating Richard Rodriguez riding the Big Dipper for 1,000 hours in 1998. He later broke his own record, riding it for 2,000 hours. After the Guinness World Records changed the rules of roller coaster-riding, he broke it again on the Big One in 2007.

18. Until you actually imagine what riding it all day would feel like.

He must have a neck of steel.
Flickr: trussmonkey / Creative Commons

He must have a neck of steel.

19. Even though you've ridden it a million times, you don't trust the Avalanche.

I don't care what my Physics GCSE taught me; why would you build a roller coaster with no tracks?
Flickr: shaunwoods / Creative Commons

I don't care what my Physics GCSE taught me; why would you build a roller coaster with no tracks?

20. And you never leave without eating every single seaside treat you can get your hands on.

Ice cream + candy floss + rock + unlimited coke + fish and chips + roller coasters = what could possibly go wrong?
Gordon Pal / BuzzFeed

Ice cream + candy floss + rock + unlimited coke + fish and chips + roller coasters = what could possibly go wrong?

21. Basically, Blackpool Pleasure Beach is the best place in the world.

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And anyone who thinks Alton Towers is better is welcome to disagree. Because then our queues will be shorter.