Creamed Possum*
...and other Redneck recipe ideas.
Do you like southern "comfort" food? Then you've come to the right place.
Comfort foods like, fried chicken, fried okra, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, biscuits and gravy** are in abundance and southerners only use the freshest ingredients, dip them in batter and drop 'em in hot oil.
Rednecks won't hesitate to till up a patch of ground in their yard, plant some seeds and grow their own veggies. What they can't grow, they can buy at Walmart, hunt, or scrape up off the side of the highway. After all, free-range roadkill...it's what's for dinner!
Besides opening up a can of Creamed Possum, how about some of these ideas for entrees?
Center-Line Bovine
Flat Cat with Mouse Sauce
Thumper from the Bumper
Chunk of Skunk
Squirrel Swirl
Porcupine Pot Pie
Chupacabra Cutlets
Deer 'n Dumplings
Jack-a-lope Jambalaya
Sides can include:
Spoon of Coon
Square of Hare
Gizzard of Lizard
Fork of Pork
Broth of Moth
Bowl of Mole
Armadillo Rolls
Chihuahua Chili
Bad Luck Buck
Varmit Vittles
If you're unable to identify the remains on the side of the road, then just make a heaping pot of Surprise Stew. Your redneck love muffin will thank you! Although, let me add a word of caution: surprise stew will most likely cause a bad case a gas to bubble of from the depths, burst forth, and cause the tornado sirens to sound. Don't be alarmed. The local sheriff's office will realize it's a false alarm and turn off the sirens. I can't say much for the "aroma," but you might want to have some Febreeze on hand. Just saying.
Of course, when "hunting" for your protein, time is of the essence. Obviously, the fresher the better and if it's still steaming, great! However, if it was smashed by an 18-wheeler, I'd either leave it be or throw it in with the rest of the unidentifiable ingredients in the Surprise Stew.
What about dessert? All you need is Nanner Puddin'! 'Nuff said.
*Note: Creamed possum in a can is used as a joke. You can purchase it, place it in your pantry and scare your guests.
*Another note: this post is a parody, except for the fried chicken and other legitimate goodies I posted above.
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