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Thoughts I Have While Watching The Charmed Pilot

I started rewatching this series over the summer and boy, did I have a bunch of thoughts about it. WARNING: this will contain some swears and I apologize in advance for anyone who is offended.

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* Thunder and lightning, the sheer sign that something is about to go down.

* I wonder if the Kit's previous owner knew that she was a familiar.

* Also, Kit is a shitty familiar. Isn't their job to protect the witch they end up with? Because she didn't do anything. Ever.

* You know this woman's got some serious mojo when she can light up her candles with her freaking finger

* Cue mysterious man dressed in all black lurking in the background

* Jesus Christ, how many candles does this lady have?

* Was that even English? If not, then why does every other spell in this show have to be in English? Why not Latin? You know, mix it up a little. It would totally add to the charm of the show. And no, that was not a pun.

* Okay, you can clearly hear this man's footsteps.

* TURN AROUND DAMN IT

* JESUS, FINALLY

* Damn.

* 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐 😐

* This storm is BRUTAL

* Piper just came in from the pouring rain, yet not one drop of water is on her right now. Piper is a waterbender confirmed.

* Oh boohoo, life is hard. Get over it.

* Wine, solving all the world's problems since it was first invented.

* "Nice boyfriend." Hahahhaaahaa

* Don't worry, you'll find out soon enough

* It's been only a minute since Prue's character is introduced and all she's done so far was bitch and whine and then began talking crap about her youngest sister.

* Yeah Piper, tell her off

* "She has no sense of the future." Hahahhaaahaa x2

* Yeah, she is coming around, TO YOUR HOUSE

* I'm cringing at the amount of foreshadowing in this one scene

* SOMEONE CALL THE WINCHESTERS

* Is it bad that I sing along to the theme song?

* Daryll you fool

* Daryll is the most realistic person in this show so far

* Piper: leans against the wall, trying to look casual, but actually looking cringey asf

* I am literally Piper.

* Smoooooth

* Who the hell abandons their family like that 💁💁💁

* Piper is honestly the sister of the year right now. Prue would willingly let Phoebe sleep on the streets.

* Shaking my head at you Prue.

* AGAIN, it's raining like crazy outside, and the Halliwell sisters seem to be immune to it.

* No you won't pay her back Phoebe sit down 😂😂😂

* It hasn't even been ten seconds Prue, relax.

* Seriously, how hard it is to ask how she's doing? At least say hi.

* SHE'S HOMELESS, LEAVE HER BE.

* Wouldn't it be better to talk things out instead of ignoring it?

* A guy. They're fighting over a guy.

* FAMILY IS MORE IMPORTANT PRUE WYD

* Piper is my spirit animal

* Awww, Prue lowkey cares about her sister how cute.

* She's still a bitch though.

* Andy knows way too much about witchcraft rn

* Did Daryll really threaten to question Andy because he's doing research on wicca? 'kay then.

* Andy is me every time I see a cat. Hell, everytime I see an animal in general.

* Wait, so Jeremy sees Piper crying her eyes out and thought, You know what would make her feel better? My number! How is that even romantic? I'd feel a little creeped out if anything.

* Phoebe's reaction to the pointer moving is literally me in any given situation.

* HONESTLY PRUE WHO INVITED YOU, TAKE YOUR MISERABLE ASS BACK UPSTAIRS

* WHY ARE YOU STILL JUST STANDING THERE, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE HOUSE

* They didn't even answer Phoebe's question

* Question: Is Prue gonna have sex with anyone other than herself this year?

* Answer: Attic.

* Seems legit.

* Piper is the only sister with her head in the right direction right now. You go girl!

* Maybe the cab wasn't the cheapest idea, but at least she'll still be alive

* PRUE, HOW WOULD YOU KNOW PHOEBE WAS FAKING IT YOU WEREN'T EVEN THEREEEEEEEEEE

* When? When did you all agree not to check out anything? Am I missing something?

* Basement vs attic, both sound very unappealing. I'd honestly just chill in the front hall until one of them came back.

* NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

* There's clearly something wrong with your house. Like seriously wrong.

* WHY WOULD YOU WALK IN

* THAT'S SOME DUMB SHIT RIGHT THERE.

* She's literally doing everything that would get her killed if she were in a horror movie

* That's disgusting, I would never touch anything that had that much dust

* How did it even gather that much? Or any at all? It was in a freaking chest!

* I bet there are spiderwebs on that too.

* I'm shivering just thinking about it

* WHY WOULD YOU READ IT OUT LOUD PHOEBE WYD

* Party tricks

* Also, how is nobody noticing that the ENTIRE FREAKING HOUSE IS SHAKING.

* Oh my God, they wouldn't even last a second in a horror movie.

* Or Supernatural.

* Or anything.

* Why does everything Prue say sound accusatory?

* Also, Piper needs more lines. She feels like a background character right now.

* Phoebe has had this book for like five seconds, how does she know all of this information?

* And does she have like photographic memory or something, because she managed to read and perfectly recite all of that.

* Oh gee Prue, nobody would have picked up that it was a book of witchcraft if you hadn't pointed it out

* Oh yeah, I forgot about the mysterious killer.

* Yes Prue, your house became haunted because Phoebe came back. That's exactly what happened.

* I still support the idea of ditching the house and chilling somewhere else for the night

* Piper probably thinks that Phoebe is lowkey crazy asf.

* I probably would too tbh.

* Roll credits

* Ew, it's Roger.

* Please explain how Prue did all the work and yet Roger manages to swoop in and steal the one thing she looked forward to.

* Okay, so according to the novellas that was published to accompany the series, Prue bought Roger that ugly looking pen you see here as an anniversary gift. That costs 200 bucks, (who the hell spends that much money on a pen? I could go to staples and get a pen just as good for like 5 bucks) and they broke up shortly after. So she spent all that money on this crusty ass pen, just for them to break up and then he goes shoving it in her face while he tells her that he's taking away her exhibit.

* Yeah, I can see why she's so on edge all the time, her life sucks.

* I hate how they had details in the book that they didn't mention here, it only makes the story that more interesting.

* Also, can we take a moment to talk about the fact that Prue cut off her sister because she believed this douche over own blood??? Wtf Prue???

* YAS PRUE, SLAY HIM

* Did Roger really just say that?

* Why did Prue even date him in the first place?

* Haha she broke your pen

* YES

* How are you gonna cut off Piper like that? Rude.

* YES PIPER YOU SAW AN OPPORTUNITY AND YOU TOOK IT THIS IS WHY YOU'RE MY FAVORITE

* Alright Chef Moore, you can dial it back with the fake accent, we all know you're American

* How the hell did Roger manage to memorize Prue's exact words?

* And wtf, why would you steal credit from her?

* Roger suckssssss

* I love how he tries to roast her, yet his entire argument fell flat the second he opened his mouth.

* She shut him up real quick.

* SLAY QUEEN.

* Honestly Roger, sit down, you already lost.

* Why is he still talking.

* He needs to stop. Like now.

* Why

* Is

* He still

* Talking

* Prue's a freaking savage. I like it.

* YES PRUE ROAST HIM

* LET HIM KNOW

* WHAT THE FUCK

* PRUE NO

* WYD

* YOU CAN'T KILL YOUR EX LIKE THAT

* Eh, he'll be fine

* What the hell is Jeremy wearing though.

* That looks like the type of sweater you buy on clearance right after Christmas.

* Or the sweater you buy your friend for Christmas because you don't know what to get them.

* What even is the weather?

* Phoebe's wearing a crop top, and Jeremy is wearing a thick sweater.

* So either one of them is either really hot, or really cold.

* All that food talk actually makes me want to eat.

* Wtf was that?

* Why did the cat turn towards the camera like it was caught doing something wrong?

* Did the cat even see what just happened?

* Again, what type of familiar just stands there, watching her charges get injured?

* Kit is a terrible familiar.

* What was that outro?

* plays a cat meowing in slow motion as the camera fades to black*

* Like what the hell? Who came up with that?

* Awww, look Prue and Andy, they're so cute

* I love how Prue brushed off Phoebe's injury

* Like, she hasn't even gotten the x rays done yet

* She could be seriously hurt, yet you're acting like nothing happened.

* Oh Prue

* Catching up with your old ex boyfriend over a bad cup of coffee #goals

* So you basically downgraded over the past few years.

* Prue's life really does suck.

* Phoebe is actually my least favorite sister of the three of them, but I'm glad she stood up to Prue because she was really getting on my nerves

* Is that even telekinesis? And if so, why didn't Prue ever use that ability again?

* Also, I love how they're casually sitting there while this is happening. If it was me, I'd be flipping out like crazy.

* I don't care what anyone says, Phoebe has photographic memory. There is no way she would have memorized all this crap in under 24 hours

* I love how they're casually having this conversation out in the open where anyone could hear them.

* Demons could also be near them listening in, but whatever.

* Can we see these wood carvings though? It sounds pretty important and yet it's never seen or heard of again after this episode

* This cat is starting to freak me out. HOW DID YOU EVEN GET THERE. WHY ARE YOU STALKING THEM.

* "Has something unexplainable ever happened to you?" What type of question is that, it happens to everyone.

* He looks like a bottom to me but that's none of my business

* WHY DO PRUE AND PHOEBE INSIST ON LOUDLY TALKING IN PUBLIC ABOUT THIS

* My life's motto

* Omfg Prue needs to chill

* Also, why are you only looking on one side of the isle? There's two sides for a reason.

* PRUE WHY ARE YOU YELLING, YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE AFFECTED BY THIS

* Alas, the medicine you're looking for was right in your face, but you're too busy yelling to notice.

* Phoebe brings up a good point about her emotions affecting her powers

* Aaaaand Prue's back to roasting her

* HOW DO YOU NOT BELIEVE HER YOU LITERALLY JUST SAW IT HAPPEN SICSNXHSNZJAJD

* Yikes, she broke the store

* Clean up on all isles

* Her powers are growing at an alarming rate. First she broke a pen, then she nearly strangled someone to death, then she trashed AN ENTIRE STORE

* AND WHY ISN'T ANYONE NOTICING THE FACT THAT THE STORE HAS BEEN TRASHED

* AND WHY DOES THE SHELF BEHIND PRUE SEEM UNAFFECTED

* SO MANY QUESTIONS

* PIPER IS LITERALLY ME Y'ALL THINK I'M PLAYING, I WOULD NOT BE GOING INTO A DUSTY OLD ABANDONED BUILDING EITHER, IDGAF

* She still went with him though.

* Wtf Jeremy, you could have easily played that mistake off.

* IT'S A FUCKING DAGGER PIPER WHAT DO YOU MEAN "WHAT IS THAT"?!

* WHY ARE YOU SMILING

* WHO THE FUCK PULLS OUT A KNIFE AS A JOKE PIPER GET IT TOGETHER, HE'S TRYING TO SHANK YOU

* Idk why, but her acting in this cracks me up because she lowkey looks like she doesn't care

* Hold on, how did he even know that Phoebe came home? How long was he standing outside their house?

* Wow Piper, nobody would have caught on to Jeremy being the killer if you didn't spell it out for us

* "They're witches, not women." OKAY BUT THEY'RE STILL WOMEN. WHAT IS GOOD WITH THE WRITERS, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME THEY'VE SAID THIS

*There's many ways to get powers from witches without killing anyone Jeremy, wyd

* I'm sorry, but wtf. Imagine that face being the last thing you see before you die. And who the hell looks like that when they're about to stab someone? Is that the last thing the woman from the beginning of the episode saw before she got killed? Cause that's pretty fucking sad if so.

* PIPER WYD TAKE THE KNIFE AWAY FROM HIM

* OR AT LEAST KICK HIM IN THE BALLS

* YES PIPER YOU GO GIRL

* Wait, where'd the knife go?

* He literally had a chance to stab her just now and he didn't take it.

* You randomly find a stray animal in your house and you just let it chill there? Okay weirdo.

* Again, they're way too calm about this. And why not just call 911? You knocked him out, all you have to do is ditch the house and let the police do their thing.

* Why is he holding the knife like that? Who does that?

* Okay, so this man just tried to kill you, so your solution is to lock the doors and stay inside? HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE.

* Prue is right.

* A bunch of trained cops with guns is no match for a dude with a knife. Seems legit. #charmedlogic

* Damn. Don't fuck with the Halliwells

* NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR STUPID QUESTIONS PRUE

* I honestly didn't get all that from the premonition. He was covered in thorns and he was leaning against a fence for support. How does that equal the spell not working and him still going to the house?

* PRUE WTF WHY WOULD YOU OPEN THE FRONT DOOR. AND WHY WOULDN'T YOU CHECK FIRST TO SEE IF ANYONE IS THERE? THERE'S LITERALLY SOMEONE TRYING TO KILL YOU AND YOU DO THIS?

* Wait, where did all the thorns go? Did they just fall off?

* WHY WOULD YOU RUN UPSTAIRS?!

* THERE'S LITERALLY A BACKDOOR, GO THROUGH THE BACKDOOR!

* Me at all the special effects in this episode

* 38 minutes, and a shit ton of proof later, Prue finally admits that Phoebe was right about something.

* Yeah, that chair will definitely keep him out!!1!!!111

* Wouldn't it make more sense to use the chair to block the door? Instead of just plopping it somewhere where it won't be useful? What the hell type of plan was that?

* Their plan sucked.

* What is Jeremy doing? He seems like he can't decide how he's gonna kill them.

* What the hell? Why is he still talking? Are you gonna kill them or make a political speech?

* I love how this man just exploded in their attic and yet, the attic isn't in shambles or anything. Literally, there was a fire and a freaking TORNADO, but you can't even tell.

* Awwwwwwwwwwww

* That escalated quickly.

* Understatement of the year

* "Do witches even date?" No, they just stay in the attic, reading spells 24/7 wtf kind of question is that? Your mom got married, how do you think that happened?

* "Not only do they date, but they usually get the best guys." Says the girl who just found out that her boyfriend was a demon after he tried to slaughter her to harness her power o.O?

* I still don't get why they're keeping the cat

* And they broke all three of those rules by the end of the season.

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