In October of 2011, Michael Buble released his album entitled "Christmas" and the holidays have never been the same since.
This collection of crooning classics has taken the world by storm, but has anyone ever stopped to think about why?
Well don't fret, because I did it for you. And I have come to the controversial conclusion that quite frankly, Buble is just a bit overrated.
Now before you jump straight to the comments to yell at me, hear me out, I've got some solid evidence.
1. The Gift-Ruining Cover
Some people may consider this one a stretch, but try to tell me it doesn't look like ol' Buble is out here farting on this present! And that guilty over-the-shoulder glance he's giving us, he's definitely up to something...
2. Suspiciously Niche Specific
Ever wondered why Michael is only famous for his Christmas album? Sure he has a few other albums and tracks. But be honest, he's nothing without his iconic holiday album. To me this makes absolutely no sense, so the natural conclusion is that the world must be under some sort of Buble spell that allows them to fall in love with him during the month of December.
3. He Can't Eat Corn
Slightly unrelated to his musical talents, but I just had to mention this one. I mean, if he doesn't even know how to eat a simple corn on the cob, should we really be considering him a trustworthy person?
4. His Arrangements Aren't Original
Remember when you listened to Michael Buble's Christmas album and thought to yourself "wow, he makes the classics seem so fresh with these fun and unique new versions!" Well guess what, most of those "unique" arrangements are complete ripoffs of older artists who go unrecognized by most of Buble's fan base.
For Example: Jingle Bells ft. The Puppini Sisters vs. Jingle Bells by Bing Crosby ft. The Andrew Sisters
View this video on YouTube
View this video on YouTube
Much of the accompaniment as well as the backup singing is EXACTLY the same.
Or how about: White Christmas with Shania Twain vs. White Christmas by The Drifters
View this video on YouTube
View this video on YouTube
Hmm, sounds familiar...
I mean, just listen to the ending of these ones:
View this video on YouTube
View this video on YouTube
Really Michael, really??
5. Santa Buddy - Need I say more?
View this video on YouTube
Alright Mike we get it, you're straight. But isn't this song a little excessive? He managed to take this cute, flirty number and turn it into the cringiest no-homo anthem anyone has ever heard. I encourage you to take a listen to this, and I challenge you to make it to the end without cringing at least 20 times.
6. Naming Albums is Not His Forte
I'm sorry, but could he really not come up with a better name for his album than "Christmas"? I mean, I understand simplicity and everything, but would a little bit of creativity have killed him??
6. He Drops into TV Shows "For Fun"
Something about this seems untrustworthy... and overwhelmingly Canadian.
7. Defrosting
Sorry, but humans aren't supposed to defrost. I've said it before and I'll say it again: UNTRUSTWORTHY!
8. Way too Canadian
Don't get me wrong, Canadians are great. But under all that politeness, they're probably hiding something...
9. Part-Time Ginger?
Again, this one might be considered a stretch, but sometimes it seems Michael has a ginger beard, and sometimes he is fully brunette. Correct me if I'm wrong, but something seems off about this.
10. He's not a jazz musician!
Sure he's a smooth talking, stubbly hunk of a family man, but you cannot and will not convince me that this "modern day crooner" qualifies as anything close to a jazz musician. His takes on Christmas classics are more or less exact replicas of works by artists such as Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra, and his original tunes are just your standard boring pop songs. So riddle me this, why is he so widely recognized as a man that modernizes and popularizes the classic artistry of jazz music?
And now to end you off on a good note, here's some more proof that Michael Buble has been farting on your Christmas presents:
Shady...
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Now time for the part I know I'll regret, let me know what you think about the light I've just shed on this much loved and much overrated holiday icon by voting below and letting me know in the comments!
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Merry Xmas!
