Romeo, Romeo....Thou Art Forever Single, Romeo

Romeo Rose of South Austin, Texas, is looking for "the girl of his dreams" on his new website. Here's 7 reasons why he's the man of your nightmares.

1. For starters, he's racist

2. He's a hypocrite

"If a woman has so many positive things going on for her in life, she certainly would not feel a need to go on a dating website, that in itself is pure desperation"

Sincerely,

Man Who Made Himself a Dating Website.

3. He's superficial

Here's a quick breakdown of the girl our Romeo wants. Could you be his Juliet??

Seventeen requirements are about her looks, including specifics on the tightness of her vagina (I'm NOT EVEN MAKING THAT UP).

Three of involve himself, notably his love for the movie Sleepless in Seattle (Tom Hanks would never stoop this low), the fact that he likes to get a lot of attention, and his high sex drive.

4. He wants murder the population of East Austin

I mean, I guess I can't blame him because everyone there is surely an uneducated criminal, not just folks who have hit hard times

5. He thinks the US government was responsible for 9/11

because some guy on the radio said so

6. He has questionable morals

"I think that xyz is morally wrong but I'm alright with it if it can help me make a few bucks"

(...not to mention he's one of THOSE PEOPLE who hates on adam and steve)

7. He's in this picture

On the bright side - Juliets of South Austin, don't worry about wasting a first date on this asshole! Unless, of course, you plan on scamming him...