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  • Shoney’s Gets Salty Over Satire Article

    Bluff News is a satirical news publication based out of Memphis, TN and is a subsidiary of The OAM Podcast Network. A recent satire article posted rubbed Shoney’s the wrong way. Here is the article in question “Shoney’s bans Lion’s club from meeting in restaurants after Bizarre Ritual Shoneys has banned the midsouth chapter of The Lion’s club from meeting in its restaurants after a strange Meat Swatting Ceremony. “It was ridiculous, people were rolling around on the floor wearing lion costumes, hissing, growling and swatting at mountains of raw meat in the middle of the floor” according to Shoney’s busboy and eyewitness Kip Stingers. “They came in with 12 igloo coolers and didn’t speak any human language the entire time they were in the building, just hissed and motioned to pictures on the menu while maintaining aggressive and continuous eye contact. There was blood all over the floor and salad bar and they didn’t tip” The Lions Club International is a community service organzation with over 1.4 million members worldwide. When asked about the ritual, local Lion’s club chapter president Larry Smith said “Our members do whatever is needed to help their local communities. Everywhere we work, we make friends. With children who need eyeglasses, with seniors who don’t have enough to eat and with people we may never meet. We do a lot of good in the community and once a year we like to let our hair down and have our vetting and election ritual. We take great pride in our ritual and are extremely disappointed in Shoney’s” The ritual serves as a competition to vet new members and choose new leadership. According to The Lion’s Club charter manual “The member who swats meat the farthest and consumes it the fastest serves as the king, the member who collects the most bones is elected treasurer.” A number of the members were hospitalized due to complications related to Listeria. No word yet on which restaurant chain the Lion’s Club plans to hold their next meeting” Shoney’s quickly responded with a salty email.

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