You wake up too early. Firstly around 4am - 5am. You are parched and desperate for the loo at the same time so you stumble to the bathroom for the longest wee ever.
Then immediately afterwards you down 2 gallons of water.
You go back to bed but you wake up again too early and no matter how hard to try your brain won't let you go back to sleep.
You hear your housemates get up. You went out with them last night so you want to go and laugh at how bad they feel. When you get up, you realise you're still very drunk.
Instead of getting ready like a usual morning, you wander around in your dressing gown for a while finding everything more amusing than normal. You stubbed your toe? Hilarious. You ran out of milk so you have water with your Crunchie Nut Cornflakes? Hysterical. You remember that last night you twerked on the table at the bar while winking at the bouncer? Comedy Gold.
You are now running quite late so you decide to shower.
It is the only time you would have a one with the temperature set at -5°C and love it.
Now, because you're worried colleagues will smell the alcohol on your breath you decide to make a lot of effort to look sober. This means making special effort with you hair:
In your booze-soaked wisdom you try out that blow-dry thing your hairdresser does. Sadly you look more like Aslan than Adriana Lima. The only positive is that everyone is looking at your fro, and not at shambles that is your outfit.
The commute is tricky. You have to hog the window because otherwise you'll pass out.
Or you might just take a seat and do that.
Finally, you've arrived at work and you feel like a champion!
Your sober hair-do fails though because you're so chuffed you've made it to the office in one-piece/at all, you end up telling everyone you are still pissed anyway.
Mid-morning is spent emailing your friends piecing together last night. This is fun because it's not real work and it sees you through to lunch time where you load up with carbohydrates and essential fats:
4pm you really start to struggle. Coffee doesn't help and time passes very s l o w l y.
6pm. YOU MADE IT! You now feel super energized and on top of the world. You call some friends and have a drink to celebrate how amazing it was that you made it through the day. And then some more. And then some more... and you do it all again tomorrow.