Sochi Problems? Not Reallyz

It’z like dis everywhere in Eastern Europe. We ownz Bed and Breakfast in Prussia- very close to border with Sochi. We show you 29 ways to enjoy Olympic season. We are Marie and Boris. Twitter: @marieandboris

1. Scheck-in is beri easy

Love western touriszts

2. New and comfortables lounge areaz

They make greatz latrines

3. We take your belonginz

No, we mean, we straight up take them

4. This iz the Penthouse Suite

Love to receibe guest in dramatic pose

5. New equipment all aroundz

Like this great machines

6. Marie is fantastic show woman

Clearly client is impressed with Prussian comfortz

7. Sometime machines is complicated

Like how to turn knobs left or right

8. This whole time Marie thought it was HEATER

Thank Odin for the polar bear furz

9. Western man is beri cold

The air refrigerator is really giving it to him

10. Boris give him fox fur shawls

Guest satisfactionz is priorities

11. Comfortz are neber ending

We take off the shoez for you

12. We are the only staffs

Iron all of your great furz

13. A true Prussian is numb to heat painz

As demonstrated by our beri own Marie- and her boob

14. Our beautiful common dining area

Inviting and tidy

15. A Prussian delicacies

Uncooked sweet potato with direct-from-the-faucet water in a klassy martini glass

16. Can we entice you to eatz with us?

Food is ready: banana, potato, and vodka

17. Outdoor area is spacious and clean

Marie lobes to bring her klassy tap water everywhere

18. All of our guests get friendly reminders

Just in case

19. Signs are clearly marked all ober

As shown, you can also leave your dirty plate on bottomless chairz

20. In case guests have little too much funz

We make sure to bring them back to roomz

21. And keep the parties going

Marie is suckerz for sexy mens

22. We go aboves and beyond for customer serbice

We even tuck- or drag, you to bed

23. More signs to make experience nice

Marie’s subtle make up is enjoyable by all guests

24. Double toilets fun

Many things to do next to each other- like pray

25. After the deliciouz koshka stew from last night

Boris provide slight aroma for ambience

26. Many wonder WHAT to do in such situationz

Of course, exchange toilet paperz

27. You can also do provocative photos for local newspaper

Nothing is sexier than straddling toilet

28. We cannot stress importants of readings ALL our notices

Make life so easy

29. Happy Olympicz 2014!

May Prussia win ALL THE MEDALS.

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