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Hi, I Am An Ice Zombie

And I want to eat EVERYONE in Game of Thrones.

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Hey y'all, as you know, I've been literally chilling with my undead peeps for a while- just receiving newborn babies as bounty, and amassing a giant zombie army.
HBO

Hey y'all, as you know, I've been literally chilling with my undead peeps for a while- just receiving newborn babies as bounty, and amassing a giant zombie army.

But shit got VERY real a couple of weeks ago because of the whole "winter is coming" thing. And by that, I mean, we totally hit up an all-you-can-eat Wildling village buffet.
HBO

But shit got VERY real a couple of weeks ago because of the whole "winter is coming" thing. And by that, I mean, we totally hit up an all-you-can-eat Wildling village buffet.

These people really put the WILD in Wildlings because their stampede, run-for-your-life game was ON POINT. It was like a Black Friday sale at your local Westeros Walmart.
HBO

These people really put the WILD in Wildlings because their stampede, run-for-your-life game was ON POINT. It was like a Black Friday sale at your local Westeros Walmart.

And deservedly so because most of our undead look like this. I mean, RUN FOR YOUR MOTHERTRUCKIN LIFE.
HBO

And deservedly so because most of our undead look like this. I mean, RUN FOR YOUR MOTHERTRUCKIN LIFE.

HBO / Via movietvtechgeeks.com

Our recruiting process is also super simple. We eat you, a couple of minutes go by, and then you come back to life as a possessed zombie-demon that we can control indefinitely.

So I sent my lieutenant Vinnie over to manage the whole operation. He's scary as fuck, really keeps up his fitness, and is extremely hard to kill because, you know, he's already dead.
HBO

So I sent my lieutenant Vinnie over to manage the whole operation. He's scary as fuck, really keeps up his fitness, and is extremely hard to kill because, you know, he's already dead.

Then that damn Jon Snow almost ruins everything with his mighty courage, his good looks, and his gorgeous locks. I mean, what high-fantasy, medieval hair product does he use?
HBO

Then that damn Jon Snow almost ruins everything with his mighty courage, his good looks, and his gorgeous locks. I mean, what high-fantasy, medieval hair product does he use?

He friggin' killed my guy Vinnie! I was not expecting him to have a Valyrian steel sword. What a literal bastard!
HBO

He friggin' killed my guy Vinnie! I was not expecting him to have a Valyrian steel sword. What a literal bastard!

This is my "really, bitch? I'm coming for you, motherfucker" face.
HBO

This is my "really, bitch? I'm coming for you, motherfucker" face.

So I literally make it rain zombies on them.
HBO

So I literally make it rain zombies on them.

And of course, bitches be running.
HBO

And of course, bitches be running.

Side note- giants proved difficult to kill. I had like 17 of my homeboys on it- and nothing. I honestly feel like I have to do everything myself!
HBO

Side note- giants proved difficult to kill. I had like 17 of my homeboys on it- and nothing. I honestly feel like I have to do everything myself!

What? You think you are getting away, Jon Snow? I'm just giving you a head start. Cue song: "Let It Go".
HBO

What? You think you are getting away, Jon Snow? I'm just giving you a head start. Cue song: "Let It Go".

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