34 Things Every British Person In The Middle East Just Gets
Yi'ani you know it makes sense.
The moment you get off the plane, your glasses steam up.
And you sweat so much your shirt actually changes colour.
In the Middle East, your digs are palatial.
Which means your bedroom is bigger than your living room and kitchen combined back in the UK.
And your swimming pool is the size of a small lake.
When you go back home, you get really irritated when everyone gives you a hard time about having a maid.
You even have supermarket valet-parking.
The idea of walking to get to places is unspeakably hilarious.
To be honest, you really don't actually have to move at all if you don't want to.
You spend your weekends at British clubs, where your modesty is thrown out the window.
Mostly because you get stared at whenever you're not in expat areas.
Friday brunch happens every week, without fail.
But nothing beats a hangover quite like this.
This small mercy goes a long way too.
Every time you go into work on a Sunday, a little piece of you dies inside.
But, hey, you have so many more public holidays than them.
The notion of "punctuality" confuses you.
Everyone at home expects you to speak Arabic.
Driving in the Middle East has its own unique set of challenges.
Such as seeing a minimum of three accidents on your way to anywhere.
And encountering more road works that you thought possible.
And everyone putting their hazard lights on the moment there's a hint of mist in the air.
The concept of the STOP sign has to be revised.
People only indicate if they're flirting.
And driving in the rain is an absolute death wish.
In the "winter", you actually pay attention to the weather forecast.
You celebrate the novelty by wearing every long-sleeved item you own. For about a week.
Of course, in the winter it's colder indoors than outside.
Whenever there's a sandstorm, everyone back home gets in touch.
And when it pours, you go out and do the obligatory happy jig because it only ever happens once a year.
But it's never long before the heat returns full throttle.
When it's time to head home for a holiday, you bulk buy cigarettes at the airport for profit making purposes.
And everyone is always keen to find out what it's really like in Dubai.
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