1."I want my entire reproductive system taken out and replaced with spare lungs for when I start smoking"
2."It's difficult to see the glass ceiling because it's made of glass. Virtually invisible. What we need is for more birds to fly above it and shit all over it, so we can see it properly."
3."Choose your friends because you feel most like yourself around them, because the jokes are easy and you feel like you're in your best outfit when you're with them, even though you're just in a T-shirt."
4."One of the things I love most about this country is that we do not, will not, stare at each other... In a cramped, crowded nation, we know the essence of politeness is ignoring pretty much everyone around us."
5."Do you have a vagina? And do you want to be in charge of it? If you said 'yes' to both, then congratulations - you're a feminist!"
6."The first actor in history to play Sherlock Holmes who has a name more ridiculous than Sherlock Holmes."
7."David Cameron resembles a camp gammon robot - a C3P0 made of ham"
8."I love puffins. They are small, round, gothic birds, and their babies are called pufflings."
9."NEVER read the comments. it's where all the worlds unhappiness dwells"
10."Always remember, that nine times out of ten, you probably aren't having a full-on nervous breakdown - you just need a cup of tea and a biscuit."