3. Boise State Broncos = Congressman Ron Paul
A force with a cult following, but they represent a threat to the establishment. So no one lets them sit at the grown-up table.
8. Michigan Wolverines = The Late Senator Robert Byrd
The face of the “old guard”, with 99% of their glory occurring before the advent of color television. The program died a number of years ago, but no one had the heart to tell them.
10. Nebraska Cornhuskers = Senator John McCain
A former highly respected, dominant player who’s been reduced to the rantings and ravings of a bitter old man. Coach Bo Pelini’s post-game interviews have the warm and fuzzy aura of WWE promos. It’s just sad at this point.
12. Ohio State Buckeyes = Senator Hillary Clinton
A powerhouse that’s loved by many and hated by many more. Makes enemies left and right, but very popular with blue collar drunks in the Midwest. Like Hillary, Ohio State was a spectacular choke job away from winning the whole thing in 2008.
20. West Virginia Mountaineers = Governor Howard Dean
There’s crazy, and then there’s CRAZY. In Morgantown, they wave dead roadkill at opposing fans and players, with an armed mountain man as their mascot. We’re going to the 20, the 10, the 5…YEAAAAHHH!!!!!!
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