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21 Foolproof Ways To Swear Like A Fucking Lady

Because regular swearing isn't very ladylike at all.

1. Adorn those delicate earlobes with these dainty earrings.

Buy them here.

2. Check you're wearing a smile at all times with this compact mirror.

3. Calm those menacing hormones with this relaxing tea.

4. Honour the art of cross-stitch with this wonderfully modest fridge magnet.

5. And while you're at it, get yourself an important reminder too.

6. No one likes a gal with bad nails, so keep them manicured at all times.

7. Maintain your decency with these demure tights.

8. Never get accused of looking tired again by keeping all your makeup in this handy bag.

9. Rest your meek and feeble head upon this sweet, soft pillow.

10. Since you're probably by the iron anyway, get yourself this patch to embrace your inner woman.

11. And carry all your lady things in an equally ladylike bag.

12. Make your mother proud by getting MARRIED and sending these invitations.

13. Keep your hands soft and supple with this hand cream.

14. And keep those lips primed for kissing with these balms too.

15. Whip out these tea towels for when you're taking your rightful place in the kitchen.

Get one here.

16. And while you're baking all those cakes, this rolling pin will do just fine.

17. What could possibly be more ladylike than a teacup? Absolutely nothing.

18. And what could possibly be more refreshing than some wall art? Nothing at all.

19. Spice up your Christmas with these fluffy pink baubles.

20. Make your dinner guests feel at home with this friendly coaster.

21. And tell everyone just how ladylike you are, without saying anything at all.