21 Incredibly Useful Skills Only A Cat Owner Would Know About

You are the master of a one-way conversation.

Posted on August 08, 2017, 11:54 GMT

Gena-mour Barrett

BuzzFeed Staff

1. Petting your cat in just the right place, so they don't lash out and attack you.

2. Which means avoiding the stomach at ALL costs.

Every cat owner knows going for the belly means certain death, so do it at your own peril.

3. And knowing the difference between what is too much and just enough attention.

It's important to get the right balance.

4. Having a one-way conversation and being completely fine with it.

Your cat is an animal of very, very few words, but that's OK because you'll speak enough for the both of you.

5. Sneezing in the most discreet way possible so you don't scare the living daylights out of your cat.

"ACHOO!!!!" "OMG, I'm sorry, kitty! Come back!"

6. And eating your food strategically so you don't have to share it with incoming cat paws.

7. Making peace with the fact your bed is no longer your bed.

You'll never sleep alone again.

8. Convincing yourself that a bite means they love you.

9. And that a deathly stare doesn't necessarily mean they're going to kill you.

Although it really looks like it.

10. Staying verrrrryyyyy still when a cat has decided to sit on you.

As soon as you've been chosen, it's game over.

11. And holding your pee for as long as you possibly can.

There's nothing worse than ruining an otherwise beautiful moment.

12. Accepting that the bathroom will probably never be a private place again.

Expect scratches on the door if you try to shut them out.

13. Typing with one hand because your cat's decided to take a nap on one of them while you're on your laptop.

14. Or having very limited ability to work at all, and somehow still making it work.

15. Never sleeping with your feet out of the covers because you'll definitely wake up to kitty sneak attack.

16. Using your cat’s stomach as a cat pillow but never putting enough weight on them that you’ll hurt their lil’ stomachs.

Instagram — instagram.com

17. Accepting that you'll have to get up at least three times before your cat decides whether they actually want to be let out or not.

They can rarely make up their mind, and you'll just have to live with that.

18. Becoming completely accustomed to the presence of cat hairs everywhere.

19. And recognising that this will probably be a distinguishable part of your ~look~.

The hairs will inevitably make it onto every item of clothing.

20. Becoming an expert nickname inventor.

21. And finding meaning in even the smallest displays of affection.

We don't deserve cats, so you're blessed to have one.