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21 Weird AF Jokes You Can't Help But Laugh At

*Tucks shirt in* "Goodnight, shirt."

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HER: Im breaking up with u ME: Is it because I say "Uh Oh Spaghetti O's" when things go wrong? HER: Ya ME:(under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's

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When that new house on the block got a fat ass basement

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every morning I ask the dog "the usual?" before pouring her food into her bowl & neither of us thinks it's funny but that's showbiz baby

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What’s better than getting your girl some flowers.....

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10 minutes Into conspiracy theories and chill, we start getting illuminaughty

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[in ambulance] "Can you describe the snake that bit you?" Yes it was like an angry rope

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Me: *tries to knock 1st kite out of tree using 2nd kite* *gets 2nd kite stuck in tree* Genie: please don't w- Me: I wish for a third kite

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Me: I need a doctor's appointment Receptionist: Ok [checks bookings] how about 10 tomorrow? Me: No I don't need that many

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not sure what I'm supposed to do with this information

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wife: I am having an affair me: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have the affair as well

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[Funeral] Me: "Do you mind if I say a word?" Widow: "Please do" Me *clears throat: "Plethora!" Widow: "Thank you. That means a lot."

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he protec he attac but most importantly he the snac that smile bac

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[me giving a tour of pillow factory] guy: "what do you fill the pillows with?" me: [spotting a family of ducks in tour group] "just stuff"

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Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat adding sage.

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Me, absolutely twisted, coming home with a load of swords. Me waking up the next day with a room full of swords.

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What Names are Short For: Tom - Thomas Tim - Thimas Jon - Jonmas Phil - Philmas Dan - Danthaniel Rick - Ricktoria Bob - Bobmas OR Bobbert

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Every. Tasty. Video. EVER. The new Tasty app is here!

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