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23 Hilarious Tweets About Dating That Are Painfully Real

*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*

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shoutout to guys who go out with you once and never talk to you again, but then like all your instagram posts for t… https://t.co/Kp88DjdhXw

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im prankin this guy as if im sending nudes but in reality...im literally typing “Attachment: 1 Image”

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There is this absolutely gorgeous girl at my gym but I never know how to start a conversation with her without look… https://t.co/gUX4P8VsWn

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my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did)

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What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.

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911 what's your emergency? I FARTED ON THE FIRST DATE. Ma'am we don't-- IT SOUNDED LIKE A BALLOON ANIMAL ASKING A QUESTION

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When I kiss a girl, sometimes I dont know what to do with my hands, so I slow clap behind her head to make sure she knows I'm enjoying it.

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When you've been dating a few months now and you can finally reveal yourself as the psychopath you really are

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A first date question: "How aware are you of your traumas & suppressed emotions and tell me about how you are activ… https://t.co/moNcdStilI

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Idk y men go to bars to meet women? Go to Target. The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 and they’re already looking for things they don’t need

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"I texted this boy I like but I used a semi-colon as a power move and I think I scared him off" - my sister, 25

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posting a sc story for 1 specific person to see is the modern day equivalent of gatsby hosting elaborate parties in hopes that daisy attends

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Me before a date: don't dress weird, don't act weird, don't say anything weird. Me showing up to that date:

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*talks to cute person once* me: okay there’s no reason to tell my friends and get them all excited it was just a c… https://t.co/3icXUO51XL

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Girl: *breathes* Guy: "idk I just don't want a relationship right now you're the type of girl I could see myself ma… https://t.co/G1PJlB5T4w

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My perfect date? We meet at a gala. I am wearing a black gown and you’re dressed in a tuxedo. After we dance, you l… https://t.co/RW7S21UP5B

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Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them

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Derek: You wanna go out again some time? Stephanie: Sure, name the date! Derek: Ok, how about 'Derek & Stephanie 2'

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[getting ready for a date] ROOMMATE: the key is to not seem too desperate ME: ok [later] DATE: i love this restaurant ME: haha i love u too

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*watches an extremely cute guy flirt with an equally cute girl at the gym from the floor above like an old witch on a mountain*

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My roommate went on a bumble date and was nervous so decided to pound shots in her car once she got to the place th… https://t.co/JYz9YISSeD

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i’m fucking crying, look at this guy from my best friends tinder