Weepy romantic comedies are completely lost on you.
And anything that’s supposed to make you cry either leaves you dry-eyed or kinda makes you laugh.
Which means weddings and funerals are particularly awkward for you.
Seeing other people cry is almost as bad as crying yourself.
Mainly because you're not the best at comforting people.
Seriously, sometimes you just make it worse.
Or you shut down and don't say anything at all.
On the one hand, you’re kind of envious of your friends who are super in touch with their emotions.
But on the other hand, you have no idea how people can be so emotional all of the time.
Often you can’t remember the last time you cried.
And even if you can, you’d never want anyone else to know about it.
On the rare occasion you find yourself feeling weepy, you immediately think there's something wrong.
And it's not just you, other people do too.
The few people who have actually seen you cry are probably your closest, closest friends.
And those who have are unwittingly locked in a secret bond where they're not allowed to tell ANYBODY what they saw.
The most frustrating thing about never crying is that people mistakenly label you as heartless.
Which isn't 100% true...
Because it's not that you hate all emotions or you don't have any, you're just not the best at them.
And until you've figured that out, you're probably gonna keep being your same, non-crying, never-too-serious self.