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    Posted on Oct 8, 2015

    The Definitive Ranking Of Nando's Food

    Everything written here is 100% accurate and totally factual.

    This ranking is of all the delectable delights on the Nando's menu. Cheek and all.

    However, this list excludes desserts, the sharing platters, and assumes that you do not disgrace the Nando's gods by getting anything below "Medium" in spice. If so, you really should be banned. Just go to Pizza Express or something.

    34. Mixed Leaf Salad

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    Let it be known, there is no shame in a good old salad. They're nutritious, they're green, sure they often lack in joy, but they're healthy and that's fantastic. BUT for the love of God, if you really want a fucking salad, you should not be going to Nando's for it. As a side, you're boosting your meal with some wholesome goodness. As a main, you're paying £7 for a salad you could literally make better for £3 from Tesco. Don't do it to yourself.

    33. Peri-Peri Nuts

    Elliott Plack / Flickr: talllguy

    A Nando’s delicacy that’s low-key irrelevant because you only get them when you’re bloody starving and can’t wait the fifteen minutes it usually takes for your food to arrive. That being said, they generally only taste good in times of desperation. Other than that, the nuts sit there, dejected at the counter, for God knows how long.

    32. Ratatouille

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    To the ten people nationwide who actually order Nando’s Ratatouille, it’s bloody fantastic. To the rest of us, why is it even on the menu?

    31. Quinoa/Avocado and Green Bean/Mediterranean/Caesar Salad

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    These salads are marginally better than their basic counterpart, since actual effort has been made to source the quinoa, avocado, and other fancy foods involved in creating them. Plus, the portion sizes are pretty darn decent. However, there's a large chance you'll suffer some serious food envy when you see what your friend's are scoffing on. The risk is not worth it.

    30. Macho Peas

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    “Whole peas drenched in pea mash, parsley, mint and chilli”. Or, more accurately, peas that taste like they were taken out of the pot too quickly.

    29. Chicken Livers

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    “Rich, tasty livers that melt in the mouth” – the kind of weird, twisted shit Jamie Oliver would say. Booooo, chicken livers, go home.

    28. Chicken Wings

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    If there’s anything that’s a worse value for money than the mixed leaf salad at Nando’s it’s their goddamn chicken wings. A mere THREE costs £3.45. That’s £1.15 a wing. Believe it or not, there’s a magical place named Chicken Cottage where you can get DOUBLE the amount of chicken wings, fried and infinitely tastier, for £2.50. Which is the better deal? Don’t let Nando’s and their shitty little chicken wings fool you.

    27. Spicy Mixed Olives

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    Kind of a hit and miss option. Tasty af if you’re feeling fancy and wanna spice up your standard meal choice, but generally kind of a waste of money.

    26. Beanie Burger/Pitta/Wrap

    Twitter: @Lauren_Jepson

    A crapper version of the veggie burger. Lentils? Pumpkin seeds? Piss off.

    25. Chicken Wrap

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    What you’re looking for is a burrito. In which case, go to Chipotle.

    24. Prego Steak Roll

    Twitter: @LilUssy

    Cheeky bit of beef slipping into the chicken coop here. 90% of people that order this did not choose Nando’s as their first choice of restaurant, but are dealing with it in the best way they know how, by ordering a large portion of beef and nibbling on it quietly.

    23. Fino Coleslaw

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    Nando’s describes this as “not your average coleslaw”, which is barely true because all they’ve done is chuck “fino” in front of it and somehow made it more expensive. When it’s in a Charrasco Thigh Burger, however, it’s a completely different and tastier story. On it's own? Meh.

    22. Sweet Potato Wedges

    Twitter: @bethjacksunn

    Nando’s made a massive deal of these in the run up to their debut on the menu. Sadly, however, they kind of just turned out to be a more disappointing version of sweet potato fries, which is cool, but not great.

    21. Corn on the Cob

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    Really tasty, but not worth the ten minutes it takes to fish all the corn particles out of your teeth with the end of a Nando's flag.

    20. Coleslaw

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    A fine choice that's versatile af. Mainly eaten as one of two delicious sides, slipped into a burger, or mixed with Peri-Peri sauce if you're extra fucking cheeky. No regrets with coleslaw. No regrets ever.

    19. Houmous with Peri-Peri Drizzle

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    The best bit about the houmous is the teeny bottle of Peri-Peri drizzle that comes with it, which makes it feel somewhat more special than it actually is. Which is totally OK, because actually the whole purpose of Nando's is to make you feel as though you're not just sitting in a glorified chicken shop, so it matches the theme. Also, did I mention how cute that little Peri-Peri Drizzle bottle is?

    18. Whole Chicken

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    You basically get this if you’re a ravenous rugby player, sharing a meal or living your best life as a reward for collecting ten chilli points. It's everything Nando's stands for on a plate – a gloriously intimidating amount of chicken.

    17. Veggie Burger/Pitta/Wrap

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    A worthy alternative to the standard chicken burger, seasoned with all the good shit that a veggie burger deserves.

    16. Portobello Mushroom and Grilled Halloumi Burger/Pitta/Wrap

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    Posh vegetarian meal. Excellent use of halloumi. Excellent use of "Portobello" in the name.

    15. Garlic Bread

    Márcio Cabral de Moura / Flickr: mcdemoura

    Garlicky goodness that's hard to resist, so long as you're not having a "double carb" dilemma. Best of all, it's vegan, so everyone and their aunt can enjoy it. The heavenly garlic bread does not discriminate.

    14. Double Chicken Burger/Pitta/Wrap

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    The best thing about the double chicken burger is the potential to make two burgers. Order a side of garlic bread, take one of the chicken breasts out, and use the garlic bread as buns to create two meals for the price of one! You’re welcome.

    13. 1/4 Chicken

    Twitter: @NandosSG

    What you see is what you get. It has a special place in the heart of many Nando's lovers for the fact it's the first thing you can get for free with your Nando's card. Generally tastes like a bargain.

    12. Spicy Rice

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    Regular rice made better with peppers and spice and everything nice. The classic "chicken and rice" combo that any chicken fan is familiar with. Has a tendency to induce rice cravings days later.

    11. Creamy Mash

    Twitter: @WAZASHAYER

    So creamy and tasty and lovely and good. Every potato lover on this planet appreciates a plate of creamy mash. Not to be confused with sweet potato mash, which is fine, but missing the cream. Also, not at all better than chips, but still incredible anyway.

    10. Chicken Burger

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    The standard Nando's order. Probably the same thing you’ve been getting since you first started going to Nando’s because you're a reliable and consistent human being. Literally impossible to be shit.

    9. Chicken Pitta

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    Exactly like the burger, but with a healthier pitta, which makes you feel that little bit better about your life choices. Usually comes with way more salad than the burger too, so you're basically winning in terms of your five a day.

    8. Chips

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    An option you can never go wrong with, unless you start looking at your friends’ plates and feeling as if they got way more chips than you. In which case, the chips can get kind of political, but always yummy.

    7. Grilled Halloumi Cheese

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    HAAAAALELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! HALLELUJAH! All hail the great halloumi cheese which many of us hadn’t tried until they tasted a bit of someone else’s at the Nando’s dinner table. Arguably the best extra on the menu, and by “arguably”, I mean it absolutely is.

    6. 1/2 Chicken

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    Cuts out about 80% of the disappointment you may receive ordering a regular ¼ chicken that doesn't quite fill you up. As long as it’s not burnt, and you like chicken on the bone, you’re cool.

    5. Butterfly Chicken Burger

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    Somewhere between a chicken burger and a double chicken burger i.e. neither too much, nor too little meat. Succulent and tasty.

    4. Charrasco Thigh Burger

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    Possibly the only thing newly added to the Nando’s menu that didn’t disappoint. It’s got everything. Chicken thighs, coleslaw (and the posh one at that), cheese, AND the Barbecue Charrasco Perinaise that no one has actually seen in real life unless squished into this burger. Delicious.

    3. Chips with Peri-Peri Salt

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    Badass chips for the well-versed in Nando’s delicacies. Once you upgrade your chips with a sprinkling of Peri-Peri salt, it is impossible to go back.

    2. Chicken Butterfly

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    Some would argue, what’s the point of going to Nando’s if you’re not going to get chicken on the bone? The answer to that is – because the boneless chicken in Nando’s is generally just better. Sure, if you were at KFC, then bones all the way. But Nando’s do a good bone-free meal and the chicken butterfly is one of many dishes to demonstrate this.

    1. Chicken Thighs

    Twitter: @NandosUK

    Congratulations! You have graduated from the basic chicken burger to the supreme holy grail of Nando’s foods – THE CHICKEN THIGHS! Why are they the best? Firstly, it’s boneless, so no need for a graveyard of bones at the side of your plate. Secondly, you get FOUR. Thirdly, all the Nando's OGs get thighs. Ask Ed Sheeran, he probably does. Get it with peri-peri chips, and halloumi cheese for the ultimate Nando’s meal. Now you know!

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