22 Special Skills All Millennials Have Mastered
To ruin the planet with a single slice of avocado toast is an art form.
Millennials have a very special talent for murdering things in cold blood.
And when I say things, I mean everything you hold dear.
They're not afraid to ruin the sacred tradition of lunch.
Which leaves them lots of time to stock up on avocado toast instead of property.
And they'll take a casual shit on the napkin industry any day of the week.
They're really good at not having sex.
And overlooking a good, old-fashioned boob.
So of course, they slaughter relationships in the process.
Millennials are really, really good at being poorer than their parents.
Which I guess would explain why they murdered the vacation.
And they're great at coming up with weird vendettas against things like groceries...
...or light yoghurt...
...or the humble, never-done-anything-to-anyone marmalade.
And ruthlessly killing bar soap...by relying on oil.
Every millennial has murdered a gym at one point.
Or selfishly refused to buy diamonds because of "rent" or whatever.
They can suffocate an entire industry right under your nose.
And are way more invested in feeding themselves than any other generation has been.
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