1. If you’ve ever tried to shop in the women’s section, you’re probably aware that it can be a bit of a shitshow.
Inexplicable outfit designs, pocketless jeans, and random graphic tees grace every aisle and website. It’s a hoot.
2. Things that look nice and normal at first turn out to be fucking ridiculous.
Must we ruin EVERY T-shirt with a bullshit message?
3. And no matter how innocent you think your purchase is, it always finds a way to bite you on the arse.
5. Perhaps you’d like to look like a human pin cushion, but fluffier? Look no further.
6. Or maybe you’d just like an outfit that says “I’m fun”, “I’m risqué”, and “I’m quite possibly sporting a one-way ticket to a yeast infection”? WELL, look what we have here!
8. Or pay £55 and get A SHOULDERLESS JACKET.
Literally no one has ever asked for an “Extreme Cold Shoulder Jacket”. Pls stop.
9. Alternatively, you can just buy this pair of jeans, which *do* have knees, but they’re transparent because…well, fuck if I know.
10. But then of course, you may prefer these jeans that look as if you’ve let a baby scribble all over them.
11. If you’re going out, why not consider this dinosaur tail?
12. Or this totally practical and not at all uncomfortable-looking bubble wrap costume.
You’ll probably spend the whole night being attacked by people wanting to pop you, so it’s great for social events!
15. Or a FUCKING UNICORN!
Fuck it, just go balls to the wall. That’s what women’s fashion is all about.
16. And remember to always wear the right underwear. Like, for example, this slightly stained pair.
*takes period-stained knickers out of the bin*