1. When you entertain the idea of going to bed early...
[7:30pm] Tonight I'll actually go to bed on time and get sleep! [2:30am] the most money ever paid for a cow at an auction was $1.3 million
2. But then you remember the internet.
3. When you wake up exhausted and can barely function.
i'm more tired than these two combined
4. And no amount of coffee can help you.
5. When you're completely aware that your body clock is fucked.
6. But you still find yourself doing something ridiculous at 4am.
me: my sleeping schedule is so fucked up also me at 4am:
7. When you want an early night, but not too early.
9am: im so tired 12pm: im so tired 3pm: im so tired 6pm: im so tired 9pm: [someone] why dont u just go to bed now? me: lol what like a loser
8. And every night, no matter what, is the same.
12AM: can't sleep, drank too much coffee 2AM: can't sleep, too much coffee 5AM: can't sleep, too much coffee 8AM: got no sleep I need coffee
9. When being told to go to bed makes you want to stay up even more.
10. But your defiance just ends up hurting you.
1am: Huh, I'm not tired... 2am: I feel great! Maybe I don't need sleep? 3am: LET'S EXECUTE EVERY IDEA I'VE EVER HAD. 3:04am: Euthanise me.
11. When you can barely remember a time when you actually slept like a ~regular~ person.
12. And your bedtime hasn't been concrete since you were a child.
13. When your hopes of a good night's rest is ruined by Netflix.
14. Or the fact that your brain just doesn't know when to quit.
15. When your strangest thoughts insist on keeping you up at night.
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons? *reason #42 why I can't fall asleep
16. So you attempt to make up for lost time in vain.
17. When you have no idea how other people manage to go to sleep on time...
18. Because you're still trying to figure out how to be chill at night.
19. When your sleepy self makes mistakes you'd never make otherwise.
me at five am: should i sleep for two hours or stay up me at now am: Did my coworker just say "email" or "bee jail". what did the bee do
20. But you have no one to blame but yourself.
21. When most of your time is spent doing "sleep calculations".
22. And when you resign yourself to the fact you'll never, ever change.
"you're gonna hate yourself in the morning if you stay up late" jokes on you I'm gonna hate myself in the morning no matter what