1.
When you're getting along with your coworker then they take it too far & hit the "we should hangout outside of work"
2.
STAGES OF WORKING FROM HOME - Yay I get to work from home - It would be nice to talk to people - I hope that pigeon sits in the window today
3.
Accidentally made eye contact w/co-worker thru bathroom stall door crack. Didn't know what to do so I blew him a kiss
4.
interviewer: do you have any experience in a leadership role? me: well, I am the group admin for a WhatsApp group
5.
"It's five o'clock somewhere" I say as I leave work at 9am
6.
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
7.
When you make your girl mad in the morning her work husband be waiting on her like
8.
A secret rendezvous... But it's me, alone, in the snack closet at work.
9.
I did squats today. Mostly because I was hiding from a coworker.
10.
Brings donuts to work because if I can't be skinny neither can you.
11.
I hate my job. The work sucks. The people suck. The pay sucks. *looks up and sees motivational poster on wall* Well this changes everything
12.
Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner.
13.
Applications be like "Why should I hire you?" 😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐😐 Me: because your hiring
14.
I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.
15.
Starting a blog that’s just reviews of the food I steal out of the fridge at work.
16.
You ever look at one of your coworkers who's stressing out and think "You really give a fuck about this job,huh? Wow."
17.
The problem with teaching a man to fish is that eventually somebody will microwave that fish in the work break room.
18.
Adorable idea. Colleagues have been writing names on their food in the office fridge. I am currently eating a yoghurt called Debbie
19.
Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him "baby hands" until he quits
20.
My coworkers: "didn't know u were this shady!" Me:
21.
i want to work in this restaurant
22.
[waiting for elevator] Coworker: Hey, how's it go- Me: I'll take the stairs.
23.
[At supermarket] "Excuse me do you work here?" WHAT? ME? Work HERE? Hell no. I went to college. I don't have a job
24.
Please ignore this tweet, I'm pretending to be adding a coworker's phone number.
25.
When in doubt, ask yourself WWBD: What Would Beyoncé Do? Would she apply for a job? Nope. She'd just show up one day like "I work here now."
26.
*walks into university & grabs intercom* "IT'S ALL LIES. THAT ENGLISH DEGREE IS USELESS" *fighting noises* "YOU'RE GOING TO WORK FOR TARGET"