1.
When he putting the condom on and you just waiting there like 😂
2.
Guy: *gets blowjob* Guy: did u cum babe
3.
yeah that's why I do it so much
4.
I don't think you should fake orgasm. But if you do, a pretty convincing face is "scandalized by the price of a $17 wedge of cheese."
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7.
There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."
8.
[court] ME: Between 10 & 11 p.m. I was having sex JUDGE: Who are you? You're not even in this trial M: I know, I just want it on record
9.
when he nuts under 30 seconds saying it's stress but you know it's your samsung note 7 pussy.
10.
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. So would mine, probably, if I was having sex with something made out of bacon.
11.
After I orgasm, I yell "Aaaaand scene." Then I push him off me, throw him his clothes while holding the door open& say "Ummm. We'll call u."
12.
when he says he's got the girth & he do
13.
Sometimes I think being a girl is so unfair and then other times I have 27 consecutive orgasms.
14.
15.
I ask for booty pics and I get a booth pic puzzle are you serious...
16.
My wife once told me " Mike you're the only man who ever gave me multiple orgasms", which pissed me off because my names not Mike
17.
*fakes orgasm by throwing warm yoghurt over their back*
18.
Dating A Ghost: Cons: no money, no warm flesh to palpate, family doesn't like him, maybe not real? Pro: only way I can orgasm right now
19.
sex lit and that but this feeling is some next level shit
20.
yall dont think i read replies to my tweets huh? in my mentions like "choke me daddy". is that funny to you beth
21.
22.
Oh god
23.
Boy do I love sex. Really love putting my penis into some *looks at smudged writing on hand* verguba
24.
