22 Jokes Only People Who Like Self-Deprecating Humour Will Appreciate

"[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] I am also free that day."

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when you're on your 295th selfie attempt & still trying to refuse the fact that you're ugly & today's not your day

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[slowly rises from trashcan while 2 friends are making plans without me] i am also free that day.

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Will I get a NYE kiss? will things finally fall into place? tune in to the next episode of definitely fucking not

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[eating fistfuls of cold spaghetti] men love me and women want to be me

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Lol I haven't showered since 2016 or been genuinely happy since 2006

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have you ever seen a headline and somehow knew it was describing your future

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my brother just got his 4th unconditional for uni and av just eaten a dog biscuit thinkin it was chocolate

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People be surprised when I tell em I have a 4.0 GPA while working & maintaining an active social life, but anything is possible when you lie

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Having a crush on someone is so exciting. You know you'll end up ruining things like you always do, but how? The possibilities are endless.

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me acting shocked after i ruin my own happiness through the same self destructive behaviours ive been repeating my… https://t.co/u8Ix1szrni

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"No more self-deprecating tweets," I whisper fatly.