Had someone comment on how you’re “far too bubbly for a Monday morning”.Been 10 minutes late for work.Been an hour late for work.Missed an entire day of work because “fuck, we had work today?”Eaten a smelly tuna sandwich at lunch.Sneezed and not covered your mouth.Coughed and not covered your mouth.Complained about a hangover.Called in sick when actually sick.Called in sick when actually lazy.Ignored an email from a co-worker.Ignored said email for longer than a day.Ignored said email for longer than three days.Argued about politics at work.Said “I’m not racist, but…”Said “I’m not sexist, but…”Said “I’m not homophobic, but…”Farted at work.Farted at work and pretended not to know what the smell was.Farted at work and claimed it proudly.Bragged about your day off.Texted a co-worker with “how’s work ;)?” while on your day off.Did #22 complete with a snapchat of your most annoying smug face.Gotten drunk at an office party.Gotten drunk at an office party and been a bit too honest with a co-worker about that curious boil you found just below your groin the other day.Been sick at an office party.Been sick on a co-worker at an office party.Updated a co-worker on your sex life.Updated a co-worker on your bodily functions.Did both #28 and #29 unsolicited.Gone to work without taking a shower.Gone to work without putting deodorant on to at least hide the fact you haven’t had a shower.Been called a “dirty bastard”.Accidentally played footsie with a co-worker under the desk.Accidentally stolen your co-worker’s charger.Stolen your co-worker’s charger on purpose.Accidentally spat on a co-worker’s face while talking.Accidentally spat on a co-worker’s face while talking, nervously apologised and immediately tried to wipe the saliva off yourself.Replied to constructive criticism with “well, that’s simply not true”.Offered “constructive criticism” by saying “it’s just shit”.Bitched about a co-worker to another co-worker.Had a co-worker walk in while you were bitching about them.Spoiled an episode of a popular TV programme for a colleague.Been described as an “arrogant prick”.Been described as a “patronising little shit”.Been described in any way that would suggest you’re a fucking nightmare to work with.Snitched on someone to HR.Accidentally called your boss “Mum”.Excessively used caps lock in your work emails.Overused the “reply all” function in emails.Signed off an email to a colleague with “Yours sincerely”.Eaten someone else’s food in the communal fridge.Eaten someone else’s food and left a note with “#RIP”.Laughed so loudly other co-workers have stopped their work to glare at you.Told a colleague they look tired.Asked a colleague why they’re “so dressed up today”.Used the phrase “that’s not my job”.Told a colleague they’re “getting on a bit”.Told a colleague they’re “getting on a bit” on their birthday.Purposely “forgotten” to chip in on a leaving present for another colleague.Given a colleague some badly wrapped candles for their Secret Santa present.Accompanied the shitty candles with a “With Sympathy” card.Been told to “fuck off” by a colleague in a playful manner.Been told to “fuck off” by a colleague in a serious manner.Said to a colleague “I thought you were meant to be on a diet?”Had your phone out on a shift.Been asked to stop taking selfies at work.Refused to cover a shift for a colleague.Refused to cover a shift for a colleague that has previously covered for you.Told a terrible Dad joke at work without irony.Used the word “banter” at work without irony.Been told by a colleague that you can’t sing.Sung anyway.Worn a Christmas jumper at work within the month of November.Worn a Christmas jumper period.
Do Your Co-Workers Secretly Hate You?
Your co-workers don't hate you at all! You're probably the office fave and have made actual genuine friendships that warrant actual invitations to the pub after work. That, or you're quiet enough not to be offensive. Either way, well done you!
You're a tad annoying, but not enough to be hated by your co-workers. Yeah, perhaps you call in sick every now and again, steal some food or occasionally forget to shower, but you're a HUMAN BEING and humans make mistakes. Try not to make any more.
You're about *this* close from being hated by your co-workers. You're pretty much a nightmare, but there's probably someone the office hates more than you, so you tend to get away with it. Keep walking on the right side of luck, my friend, but don't push it!
Your co-workers despise you! Sorry to break it to you, but you're irritating as fuck. By all means, do you, but that "you" is the source of many co-workers' frustration. Perhaps try to win some of them over with a round at the pub or continue being annoying for fun and live-tweet the hilarious results. Your call.