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Can You Score More Than 75% In This London Citizenship Test?

Let's spot the real from the fake.

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  1. 1. Situation: On which side should you overtake someone on an escalator?

    Thinkstock
    On the left
    On the right
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    It is strictly forbidden to stand on the left-hand side of any escalator without the intention of walking down it in a hurried, slightly exaggerated fashion.

  2. 2. In which circumstances do passengers usually shout “Can you move down please?” on public transport?

    Thinkstock
    When there's plenty of space.
    When it's a crowded, but it's clear there's a little room.
    When there's absolutely no fucking space and a poor granny's head is already being smushed against a window.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    There never seems to be any room when people say this. Ever.

  3. 3. How much is a day travelcard (covering zones 1-4 and NOT on Oyster)?

    Flickr: astanita
    £8.90
    £10.80
    £12.10
    £16.40
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    A standard zone 1-4 day travelcard is £12.10. Or, as it's known to Londoners, a fucking pisstake.

  4. 4. Meet Charley. Charley was born in Coventry. Where is Charley from?

    Thinkstock
    Coventry
    The Midlands
    Up North
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Come on. Every Londoner knows anywhere north of the M4 is "up North".

  5. 5. When are trains in London most likely to be delayed?

    Thinkstock
    When it's too hot.
    When it's too cold.
    When it's raining.
    All of the above.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    There is no timeline in which a train in London is not delayed.

  6. 6. You're about to exit a busy tube station. When is the appropriate time to take out your Oyster card?

    Flickr: mirka23
    On the escalator on the way up to the gates.
    It should be ready at all times.
    As soon as you see the gates.
    Just as you approach the gates.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    No one likes standing behind a person fumbling over their Oyster card. Get it together. Be prepared.

  7. 7. What is the correct way to address the person in charge at your local chicken and chip shop?

    Twitter: @JETSLER
    Bossman
    Brother
    Sir
    Mr
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    While "boss" is also appropriate, the man in charge is always known as "bossman".

  8. 8. Location: What was the O2 Arena originally called?

    Flickr: thelastminute
    The Millennium Experience
    The Millennium Dome
    The O2 Centre
    The London Entertainment Centre
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Before the likes of Beyoncé and Adele performed at the magnificent O2 Arena, young children nationwide were travelling to the Millennium Dome to take somewhat creepy pictures with ET.

    Via carolineld.blogspot.co.uk
  9. 9. How long has London Bridge been getting renovated?

    Flickr: nicohogg
    Over a year.
    Six months.
    SINCE THE DAWN OF FUCKING TIME.
    Renovation has finished.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Can anyone remember a time when London Bridge wasn't being renovated?

  10. 10. In which London borough is this ridiculous street name?

    cunty.tumblr.com
    Southwark
    Lewisham
    Greenwich
    Enfield
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    If you're from south London, you probably recognise this street from being in Greenwich.

    Via cunty.tumblr.com
  11. 11. What is the official name of the Houses of Parliament?

    Flickr: 66720528@N04
    The Palace of Westminster
    Westminster Court
    Parliament Abbey
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    The Houses of Parliament are officially known as the Palace of Westminster and it is the largest palace in the country.

  12. 12. Where was musician David Bowie born?

    Ralph Gatti / Getty Images
    North London
    East London
    South London
    West London
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    David Bowie was born in Brixton, which is in south London.

  13. 13. Which of these tube stations is NOT in zone 1?

    Thinkstock
    Gloucester Road
    Lambeth North
    Bayswater
    Oval
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Oval is in zone 2!

  14. 14. What is the name of the stop that's missing?

    Robin Edds / BuzzFeed
    White City
    Wood Lane
    Holland Park
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    If you know the Central line like the back of your hand, you'll know the missing stop is of course White City.

    Via content.tfl.gov.uk
  15. 15. Vocabulary: What does this word mean?

    Thinkstock
    Pancakes
    Sweets
    A type of hat
    Trainers
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    "Creps" are another word for trainers.

  16. 16. Which of these words has a negative connotation?

    Thinkstock
    Spreads
    Butters
    Margarines
    Toasties
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    To call someone "butters" is to call them ugly.

  17. 17. If someone describes a situation as "peak", is it negative or positive?

    Thinkstock / BuzzFeed
    Positive
    Negative
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Peak is not good. (Unless it's at the top of a mountain.)

  18. 18. Which of these is NOT a way to address a comrade?

    Thinkstock
    Fam
    Ref
    Blud
    Bruv
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    "Ref" is just the shortened version of "referee". It has nothing to do with your friends.

  19. 19. If you give someone money, and they reply with "safe", what does that mean?

    Thinkstock
    "Where's the rest of my money?"
    "What's this?"
    "Thanks."
    "Keep your money."
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Upon receiving something, "safe" can mean "thank you", but it's also an adjective for someone who's a decent person.

  20. 20. Which of these would you most likely see a "roadman" wearing?

    Via Thinkstock
    Via Thinkstock
    Via Thinkstock
    Via Thinkstock
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Come rain or shine, the puffa jacket is a go-to for the standard roadman.

  21. 21. What do the words “rail replacement bus” actually mean?

    Thinkstock
    A bus service that substitutes a train service.
    An efficient alternative to the regular journey that was planned.
    A slight possibility that you may be later than expected.
    A sign that you should just cancel all your plans today.
    Correct!
    Wrong!

    Only get a rail replacement service if it's the last mode of transport left on this earth. Trust me.

Can You Score More Than 75% In This London Citizenship Test?

You failed!

Oh dear, you think you can be a Londoner with that kind of score? Sorry, but your knowledge is just not good enough this time round. Do a little more studying and try again.

You failed!
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You just failed!

Sorry, but your knowledge is just not good enough to be classed as a proper Londoner. You were close though, so try again soon!

You just failed!
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You passed!

Welcome to London, my friend! You got more than 75% in this quiz, which means you're a Londoner at heart and proud. Good on you.

You passed!
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You smashed it!

Congratulations! You are officially a Londoner through and through! Give yourself a pat on the back. You passed with flying colours!

You smashed it!
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