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37 Things That Are Absolutely Not Penises

These are 100% not penises. Promise. H/T mildlypenis.

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4. This equally innocent candle.

Happy birthday @patrickjb32 ! Heres a candle that looks like a penis

7. This delicious and curiously shaped pastry.

If you're having a bad day, just look at this pastry. It looks like a penis.


10. This coffee stain that's just a coffee stain and nothing else.

ok i split some of my coffee and it looks like a penis i


14. This artwork in a parking lot looking nothing like a penis in a wig.

Day 3 and my parking spot still looks like a penis


18. This dog named Peanut, also known as Penis.

His name is Peanut, but we call him penis because he literally looks like a penis....#thatsunfortunate


21. The tip of this ice pop that looks nothing like a penis head at all.

My ice pop thing legit looks like a penis head oh god


25. This sausage that's seen better days and looks pretty painful.


33. This guy's sweat patch that definitely does not look as if a giant dick has been plastered on to his back.

This dudes sweat looks like a penis 🙊

37. And finally, this guy's chin.

this looks like a penis with ears omg