20 Things Only People Who Hate Sharing Food Will Understand

Can you just bugger off and get your own?

Posted on May 06, 2015, 10:08 GMT

Gena-mour Barrett Community Contributor

This post has not been vetted or endorsed by BuzzFeed's editorial staff. BuzzFeed Community is a place where anyone can create a post or quiz. Learn more or post your buzz!

1. "Can I try one?" is your most dreaded phrase.

Please. Just don't ask.

2. When you begrudgingly offer some of your food and they take the ONE PIECE you’ve been inwardly begging them not to take...

Not THAT one you SWINE.

3. ...which is precisely why you never do it.

4. Purposely refusing to ask for anyone else’s food, just in case they try to ask for yours.

5. Trying to think of a polite way to tell someone to piss off when they ask for a bite.

6. Feeling like the world’s about to end when a friend cheekily steals a chip without asking…

7. …or when people generally take your food without permission.

8. So your food protecting reflexes are on point.

9. When you specifically tell someone they can have one and more than one magically appears in their hand.

10. Friends who know you hate sharing approach with extreme caution when daring to ask for a bite of your food.

11. In fact, if they know what’s good for them, most don’t ask at all.

12. You’re more concerned about who got the bigger half than you should be.

13. You subtly keep an eye on how much the other person has had in the rare event you are sharing.

14. When people say “you can’t possibly eat all that food by yourself”:

~WATCH ME.~

15. Feeling like you’ll never be full again watching some of your food go into the mouth of somebody else.

16. Pre-warning your friends that you won’t be sharing any of your food before anyone asks.

17. When people make suggestive comments about how great your food looks.

Oh God.

18. Being called selfish by your haters.

You're still not getting any.

19. Occasionally wishing you could change your ways when you see someone else sharing their food with no problem.

How do they do that?

20. But ultimately knowing the only way you can truly be happy is if you eat it all to yourself.

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!