back to top

World's Greatest/Grossest Police Report, Part 3

Carolee Bildsten was arrested in Gurnee, IL on November 11th for Aggravated Assault. Below are excerpts of the police press release detailing the arrest, presented without comment. WARNING: If you're squeamish about "marital aids," do not proceed.

Posted on
  • On 11/9/2010 at approximately 7:20 PM, an officer responded to the Joe's Crab Shack...for a report of a woman leaving the restaurant without paying her bill.

  • The officer checked the area and located a woman matching the description...near Six Flags Great America.

  • She was lying in the grass...the officer believed her to be intoxicated.

  • He explained to her that she had left the restaurant without paying and that she would need to pay the bill or be arrested.

  • She did not have any money with her but said she had money at her apartment and could pay the bill. The officer escorted her to a nearby residence.

  • She walked into her bedroom. She said the money was in her dresser drawer and she opened it and reached inside...

  • (She) removed a "clear, rigid feminine pleasure device" and held it over her head and approached the officer in a threatening manner.

  • The officer knocked the device out of the way prior to being struck and placed the woman under arrest.

  • Bildsten was charged with Theft of Labor/Services for walking out of Joe's Crab Shack...

  • Pedestrian Under the Influence for walking on public roadways while intoxicated...

  • And Aggravated Assault against the officer.