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Casting The Movie Of The Phone Hacking Scandal

The News of the World/Rupert Murdoch/phone hacking scandal is going to make for an awesome movie (one that will hopefully be scripted by Aaron Sorkin, directed by Stephen Frears and called something like "Citizen Murdoch" or "Hacked: A Tale Of Power And Tragedy."). Here's my casting wishlist. Since you are a very opinionated internet, surely you have your own ideas as to who should play Rebekah Brooks, Hugh Grant, Wendi Deng, et al. Play casting couch in the comments!

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  • Rupert Murdoch=Michael Gambon

    Rupert Murdoch=Michael Gambon

    The News Corp. CEO at the heart of the scandal is often thought of as a warlock, so why not get Dumbledore to play him?

  • David Cameron=Andy Garcia

    David Cameron=Andy Garcia

    David Cameron, the British Prime Minister whose leadership has been called into question thanks to his cozy relationship with Murdoch, really has nothing to do with Andy Garcia. This is casting based mostly on hair.

  • Andy Coulson=Rainn Wilson

    Andy Coulson=Rainn Wilson

    Formerly David Cameron's Director of Communications (doing nothing to dispel Cameron's aforementioned publicity problem), Coulson was arrested for his involvement with phone hacking while editor of News of the World. Being a mean-spirited technocrat, Dwight Schrute is perfect as Andy Coulson.

  • Rebekah Brooks=Shaun White

    Rebekah Brooks=Shaun White

    Rebekah Brooks is one of Rupert Murdoch's most trusted allies, having run his British operations as Chief Executive of News International. She resigned in disgrace and was recently arrested. This is another hair casting. Alternates include Robert Plant and the animated heroine from Pixar's "Brave."

  • Gordon Brown=Oliver Platt

    Gordon Brown=Oliver Platt

    The former Prime Minister was the target of spying by News Corp. reporters. Oliver Platt kind of looks like him, right?

  • James Murdoch=Matthew Lillard

    James Murdoch=Matthew Lillard

    The son of Rupert Murdoch and Chairman of News Corp., James Murdoch could be facing serious criminal liability for paying hush money to the eavesdropping targets of his employees. Matthew Lillard has a proven track record of playing slimy characters.

  • Les Hinton=Julian Assange

    Les Hinton=Julian Assange

    Les Hinton was another of Rupert Murdoch's closest confidants, having been the publisher of the News Corp.-owned Wall Street Journal. Since he was CEO of News International when the phone hacking first happened, he has resigned from his position at the Journal and Dow Jones. More hair casting.

  • Hugh Grant=Steve Coogan

    Hugh Grant=Steve Coogan

    Hugh Grant went undercover and recorded a former reporter from World Corp. admitting that the company had engaged in widespread phone hacking and bribery of police. The article Grant wrote about his sting operation set in motion the current investigation and scandal. Since Steve Coogan has come forward and alleged he was the victim of phone hacking, why not?

  • Steve Coogan=Hugh Grant

    Steve Coogan=Hugh Grant

    I'm getting lazy.

  • Roger Ailes=David Huddleston

    Roger Ailes=David Huddleston

    Roger Ailes is the President of Rupert Murdoch's Fox News. He stands to ascend the News Corp. ladder if James Murdoch resigns or is imprisoned. Doesn't he just reek of the Big Lebowski? Alternates include Admiral Ackbar and the Chet-As-A-Festering-Toad Puppet from "Weird Science."

  • Sir Paul Stephenson=Terry O'Quinn

    Sir Paul Stephenson=Terry O'Quinn

    Sir Paul Stephenson was the head of Scotland Yard before he resigned amid charges of incompetence and corruption in the phone hacking case. He's unlikable and bald, just like Locke from Lost. Alternates include Larry David and Michael Gross from Family Ties.

  • Boris Johnson=Rhys Ifans

    Boris Johnson=Rhys Ifans

    Boris Johnson is the conservative mayor of London who has come under fire for initially dismissing the phone hacking scandal as "codswallop." Now he's suspected of actively interfering with the investigation against News of the World. He has very bad hair. Hello, Rhys Ifans!

  • Jonnie Marbles=Matt Lucas

    Jonnie Marbles=Matt Lucas

    Jonnie Marbles is the untalented anarchist comedian who hit Rupert Murdoch with a shaving cream pie during Murdoch's questioning before a Parliamentary committee. Matt Lucas is one of the guys from Little Britain. He's quite adept at playing pudgy, pasty losers.

  • Wendi Deng=Yasmin Lee

    Wendi Deng=Yasmin Lee

    Wendi Deng is the wife of Rupert Murdoch, and she has lightning quick pie-slapping reflexes. She intercepted Jonnie Marbles in mid-splat and nearly ripped off his face with her immaculately manicured talons. Yasmin Lee is an American transsexual pornographic film actress of Thai and Chinese decent. She was in "The Hangover, Part II" as the prostitute who has sex with Stu. You have to admit, this is uncanny. (WARNING: Do not perform a Google Image search for Yasmin Lee while your filter is off.)

  • Queen Elizabeth II=Betty White

    Queen Elizabeth II=Betty White