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10 Historical Girl Problems We're Glad We Don't Have To Deal With

It's easy to romanticize the past, but looking back, it's plain to see that the ladies in centuries past could have really used #OneLessGirlProblem.

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1. Poisonous Makeup

Raffaelle Gianetti / Via

Lead and arsenic — two things that we now know are definitely poisonous — were two common ingredients in facial powder, eyeliner, and mascara back in the day. Talk about looks that kill.

2. Having an Audience as You Get Ready in the Morning


Before the "getting ready in the privacy of your bathroom" fad caught on, royal and upper-class ladies of 18th century France devoted hours each morning to getting ready in full hair, makeup, and wardrobe with an audience of admirers.

3. Corsets as an Underwear Staple

Duncan Walker / Via

Full corsets lined with whalebone and steel reached their popularity peak in the Victorian era, but came with quite a few hazards. Today, getting dressed is a cinch!

4. Going Blind for Prettier Eyes


Eye drops made from the poisonous herb "deadly nightshade" were used by women centuries ago to dilate the pupils, making the eyes appear large and coquettish. Thankfully, today we have something more effective (and non-deadly): contact lenses!

5. Smelly Cosmetics

Georg Pauli / Via

In Ancient Rome, cosmetics smelled so bad that women had to drench themselves in perfume to hide the stench. Today, cosmetics smell dreamy!

6. And Nasty “Natural” Skin Care

Marie Spartali Stillman / Via

Animal dung and droppings were often used in ancient skin-care routines, believed to have revitalizing effects. Today, a DIY avocado mask does just fine.

7. Using Lard for Hairstyling

Heritage Images / Via

Before hair gel and sprays came along, coiffeurs would set wigs and elaborate hairstyles with lard, which attracted rats and mice. Eek!

8. Farthingales

George Gower / Via

Imagine going to a party wearing an enormous, padded cage made of cane, wire, and whalebone under your dress. For noblewomen in 16th century Europe, they didn't party hard, partying was hard.

9. Heaviest Hairstyles

Fine Art Images / Via

French women in the 18th century went for height — often over one to two feet to be exact! Achieving the "pouf" required a personal hairdresser, a few hours, and heavy understructures made of wire, rolled-up cloth, and false hair. Clip-in extensions, we are eternally grateful.

10. And the Sick Quest to Get More Pale

Sir Joshua Reynolds / Via

Paleness was such a coveted beauty feature in the 15th to 18th centuries that women would often go to drastic lengths to achieve the look. Some would attach leeches to their ears to drain the color from their face. Not. Cute.

Thankfully, we don't have to deal with these ghosts of girl problems past.

If only these ladies had Garnier Fructis Sleek and Shine back then to solve their Frizzasters. That would have been #OneLessGirlProblem.

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