1. Everyone automatically assumes you're a pessimist when you're really just a realist.
2. Or they think that you can't have a good time because you hate everything.
3. You're fluent in sarcasm.
4. You tend to accidentally offend people you don't know very well.
5. You constantly hear the phrase "When I first met you I thought you were a bitch."
6. You've probably felt lost in a room full of idealists.
7. And resisted the urge to scream whenever someone says "you should smile more."
8. You'd much rather explode than have your friends believe you've dreamt of your own "happily ever after."
9. Your friends are always skeptical when you say something wholeheartedly sincere.
10. Because you're most often found talking about your lack of faith in humankind.
11. In fact, you have a burning hatred for people who are inherently impractical.
12. It takes every bit of energy to avoid a massive eye roll when someone uses a cheesy cliché.
13. And you scroll as quickly as possible whenever you see a poorly Photoshopped motivational quote on Facebook.
14. You constantly resist the urge to tell your idealist friends "I told you so."
15. Even though you secretly love playing devil's advocate.
It's your kryptonite.
16. You never understood why someone would ever consider your cynicism a turn off.
17. Though on rare occasions you truly believe it's your negativity that drives people away.
18. But then, five seconds later, you come to your senses and remember that there's nothing wrong with being practical.
19. As a cynic, you know that you're not a mean person, you just like keeping it real.
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