Which Famous Artist Were You In Your Past Life?
Your artistic process is pretty simple: smoke a pack a day, get drunk off your ass, and try your hardest to get laid before the sun sets! In your previous life, people would say, "Jackson! What do your paintings mean!?" to which you'd cooly respond, "It's like looking at a bed of flowers, you don't tear your hair out over what it means." But what you really meant was "F!@# You! I do what I want!!!!!!"
Long ago you were once the great Salvador Dalí! Of course, you more than anyone else should know that time is nothing but a melting clock in the desolate plateau of your mind, an arid landscape scavenged by elephant-like monsters on stilts. So who's really to know.
A lover. A fighter. A sincere heart with heavy baggage. In your previous life as Frida Kahlo, you held your own in a white-male dominated art world and made all the boys wish they could make paintings as raw as yours. You once said it perfectly, "I'd rather sit on the floor in the market of Toluca and sell tortillas, than have anything to do with those 'artistic' bitches of Paris."
All those other artists can keep their fancy cities. In your previous life as Georgia O'Keeffe, you relished in the wide open spaces of New Mexico and found comfort in the fresh air and warm colors of the American West. It was there that you discovered the most beautiful form on planet Earth, the vagina. *cough* I mean, the orchid.
In your past life, you were a god amongst artists. Others would scoff at your sheer genius and cry when confronted by your absolute creativity. "How can a mere mortal produce something so beautiful!?" they'd ask, to which you'd reply, "Good artists copy, great artists steal." WTF Picasso.
In your past life you once said, "Art is anything you can get away with." So why not just toss some Coca-Cola bottles and some soup cans into a gallery and sell that shit for a cool million! You were a master at transforming the world's garbage into priceless works of art–it's a model that pretty much every artist uses today. Congrats! You killed art!
Well, let's be honest. In your past life as van Gogh, you probably drank too much absinthe and ruined all of your friendships with your alienating personality. But damn could you paint a picture! It's said that you never sold anything as an artist in your lifetime. But i'm sure in this life you've found comfort knowing that that you've risen to the ranks of one of the greatest painters in history.
Some artists are like shooting stars–they burn twice as bright but only half as long. In your previous life as Basquiat, you were the coolest kid in NYC and brought the culture of the city streets into museums. You once said, “I don’t think about art when I’m working. I try to think about life.” You did good kid!