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    44 Funny Valentine's Day Cards To Make You Laugh

    If your Valentine's Day plans are less "candlelit dinners and long-stemmed roses" and more "puns, fart jokes, and a Big Mouth marathon," we've got some cards for you.

    We hope you love the products we recommend! All of them were independently selected by our editors. Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page if you decide to shop from them. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

    1. A card that gets real about what happens in your bedroom ~after hours~.

    A white card with "There is no one else I'd rather lie n bed with and look at my phone next to" written in black handwriting font
    Mod Co on Etsy

    Mod Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2019 and based in St. Louis, Missouri, that creates paper goods, gifts, and modern St. Louis-themed apparel.

    Promising review: "Shipped on time and looks just like the picture!" —Braden Funk

    Get it from Mod Co on Etsy for $5.

    2. A punny card for the wordplay lover in your life (or the wool lover in your life! We're not here to judge what you do in your free time).

    A drawing of a blue ball of wool, with "Wool you be mine?" written in black type across the top
    SKP Ink on Etsy

    SKP Ink is an Etsy shop founded in 2013 and based in North Carolina that makes "bad jokes by good people."

    Promising review: "This was everything I wanted and more. It also came really quick. Thank you so much for customizing my message on the inside! I can't wait to give this to my significant other for our anniversary!" —valyssa99

    Get it from SKP Ink on Etsy for $3.50 (available blank or with a personalized message)

    3. A card that speaks the truth about what truly holds every long-term relationship together.

    A white card that says "There's no one else I'd rather annoy" in blue type, with a red heart
    CardCraftUS on Etsy

    Card Craft US is an Etsy shop founded in 2019 and based in Portland, OR that "believes in the power of connection."

    Promising review: "Loved my experience with this shop! So many great designs, I especially liked the quarantine-themed cards and found it so hard to choose which ones I wanted to send to my friends! I also really appreciated the message I received letting me know my order was on the way, along with a photo of my items going in the envelope. Fantastic cards, fantastic shop. Thank you!" —Alina

    Get it from Card Craft US on Etsy for $6.97 (available blank or with custom message handwritten inside)

    4. A card for couples who know that when it comes to love, the intention is more important than the execution.

    A card with a cartoon drawing of a mountain that says "I'd climb a mountain for you, but I might only make it this far," with an arrow pointing to the middle of the mountain
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Super cute. He loved this card!" —Cherie S.

    Get it from Amazon for $4.97

    5. A sweet (literally) card that celebrates the two things all the best relationships run on: gratitude and pastries.

    A pink background with sprinkle print, and two anthropomorphic donuts hold hands, with "I donut deserve you" written below
    nicolemariepaperie on Etsy

    Nicole Marie Paperie is an Etsy shop founded in 2013 and based in New York City that specializes in greeting cards and paper goods made with TLC.

    Promising review: "Super cute! Nice quality, as well." —Madi Bigelow

    Get it from Nicole Marie Paperie on Etsy for $3.01

    6. A Friends card, because you love how your Valentine doesn't like it when people eat food off their plate.

    A white card with a drawing of Joey Tribbiani from "Friends" and the quote "How you doin'?" written in calligraphic type
    CatBoneDesign on Etsy

    Cat Bone Design is an Etsy shop founded in 2018 and based in Omaha, NE that's all about "bringing happiness and joy through design!"

    Promising review: "Got this card for my sister for Valentines Day. We are the biggest Friends fans and she loved it!" —Katie Figgins

    Get it from Cat Bone Design on Etsy fot $6+ (available with or without tracking, and in 20 envelope colors)

    7. A doggone cute card that lets your love know you'd like them better if they had four legs and a tail, but they're still alright in your book.

    A white card that says "I love you more than dogs" in black, with "more than" crossed out in red, and replaced with "as much as (that's a huge amount"
    StudioFirebaugh on Etsy

    Studio Firebaugh is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in El Sobrante, California that specializes in "whimsically illustrated greeting cards, custom pet portraits, and silliness galore."

    Promising review: "Love this card, can't wait to give it to my husband."—Audrey

    Get it from Studio Firebaugh on Etsy for $3.60+ (available in sets of one or two cards)

    8. A card for those who know that the couple who WhatsApps together, stays together.

    A white card with a drawing of a phone with notifications and "You're still my favorite notification" in type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Bought this for my fiancee, who lives in the Philippines. We usually only get to talk through online means and she loved it." —Chester S. DeBerry

    Get it from Amazon for $5

    9. A Euphoria card, so you can celebrate the Rue to your Jules.

    A drawing of Rue and Jules from "Euphoria" on a white card, with "I hate everyone in the world but you" written in black above them
    Hollaback Cards on Etsy

    Hollaback Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Miami, Florida that makes pop-culture based cards, mugs, and more.

    Promising review: "Great purchase, came quickly!" —Gina

    Get it from by Hollaback Cards on Etsy for $6.50

    10. A card for your home's designated bug-mover-awayer.

    A white card that says "Thanks for always being there when I need you most" in black, over a cartoon of a spider trapped under a glass
    Amazon

    Promising review: "I received exactly as ordered. The card was packaged extremely well in its own plastic jacket. Old-style envelope, which was a distinct unique touch to the card. It came unblemished in pristine condition and packaged well. Will order similar cards again!" —Fuga

    Get it from Amazon for $5.88

    11. A card that shows that your love is truly for real.

    A white card with a color drawing of a toilet paper roll with all the paper gone, and "i still love you" written in black cursive below
    Amazon

    Promising review: "I feel silly writing a review for a card. But it was a funny card and got a good laugh. Paper quality was nice and so was the envelope it came with." —D. Yasment

    Get it from Amazon for $3.67

    12. A charming crustacean card, because your romance began by the sea (or over a shrimp platter).

    A white card with a red drawing of a shrimp, and the words "You're shrimply the best" in black
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Super cute! Great quality too!" —Delaney

    Get it from Amazon for $5.99

    13. A card for couples who are otterly smitten with each other.

    A blue card with a drawing of two otters holding hands in the sea and "You're my significant otter" in black type
    amazon.com

    Promising review: "This was otteriffic. My husband loved this card so much. I love gifting things that my love hasn't seen before. Now he calls me his otter and I love it." —Ashley

    Get it from Amazon for $4.50

    14. A card that truly gets at the essence of romantic commitment.

    A beige card that says "I love you so much that I want you to be the only person to smell my farts" in black type
    Amazon

    Get it from Amazon for $3.99

    15. A Tiger King card, because of your love that was forged over Netflix marathon viewings.

    A white card with a drawing of a tiger and "I would never feed you to the tigers" in orange type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Very nicely made card. Thick paper and nice envelope." —Tracy Gerlach

    Get it from Amazon for $5.88

    16. An unidentified fantastic card for the friend who is going to spend their Valentine's Day (and every other day) watching the skies.

    A pink card with a drawing of a heart with a spaceship inside it, and the words "Bring me a higher love" outside the heart
    ShaylynBerlew on Etsy

    Shaylyn Berlew is an Etsy shop founded in 2019 and based in Philadelphia, PA that creates offbeat cards, stickers, prints, and more.

    Promising review: "Very cute! Love the colors." —Britt Johnson

    Get it from Shaylyn Berlew on Etsy for $4.95+ (available in sets of one or three cards)

    17. A card that says your love can survive anything — even 2020.

    A white card with black text on front: "The world is a trash fire" and inside: "But you're cool."
    forhonestpeople on Etsy

    For Honest People is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 and based in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma that specializes in "Honest cards."

    Promising review: "Great quality, very happy with it!" —Ashley Diane

    Get it from For Honest People on Etsy for $4.75

    18. A straightforward card, so you can celebrate that your relationship survived this cohabitation rite of passage (the interior is blank, in case you need to write out a detailed apology for how you acted while putting together that couch).

    The card, which is black type on plain white card stock, and reads "I Love you enough to build Ikea furniture with you"
    PaperStuffandCo on Etsy

    Paper Stuff and Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Jersey City, NJ that makes cards, stickers, magnets, and other fun stuff.

    Promising review: "Very cute card and fast shipping." —Stella

    Get it from Paper Stuff and Co on Etsy for $5

    19. An anatomically charming card for the medical professional who has won your heart (and lungs, and other internal organs).

    PaperMummyCo on Etsy

    Paper Mummy Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Placentia, California that wants to "help someone feel better today" through stationery and gifts.

    Promising review: "The card was a hit! Thank you! Great quality." —Jan Goldforth

    Get it from Paper Mummy Co on Etsy for $2.10

    20. A card that gets straight to the point.

    A white card with succulent plants painted on it, and "You don't suck" in yellow-brown
    Amazon

    Promising review: "She couldn’t stop laughing. Great delivery." —Edward

    Get it from Amazon for $9.55

    21. An app-related card, so you can celebrate the swipe that made you finally stop swiping.

    A white card with a drawing of an orange flame, and the words "You swiped me right off my feet :)"
    ACouplePuns on Etsy

    A Couple Puns is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Jacksonville, FL that makes "The punniest cards ever!"

    Promising review: "I love my little punny Valentine's card! It’s perfect." —Nicole Steinbach

    Get it from A Couple Puns on Etsy for $5

    22. A sarcastic card, because you're just not too sentimental about V-Day (plus, it comes with stickers to personalize the interior and envelope!)

    A purple and white card with "Nothing says I love you more than a folded piece of card" written in multicolored retro font
    Amazon

    Promising review: "This card is hilarious! Well-made, and it even came with stickers! I will be back to purchase more!" —Monica

    Get it from Amazon for $4.49

    23. A Schitt's Creek card for your Valentine who has excellent taste in TV.

    A white card featuring a drawing of David Rose from "Schitt's Creek," with pink hearts and the words "You're simply the best" in black type
    PaigeByDesigns on Etsy

    Paige By Designs is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 and based in Buffalo, NY that makes cards, paper goods, banners, and more.

    Promising review: "This card looks EXACTLY as pictured on great quality paper. My partner and I are huge Schitt’s Creek fans, and he loved receiving this on Valentine’s Day!" —Rashad Gober

    Get it from Paige By Designs on Etsy for $7.20

    24. A card that combines your two passions: your partner and pizza.

    A white card with a drawing of a heart-shaped pizza, and "You have a pizza my heart" in handwriting-style type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "I love the play on words ... my go to choice for my pizza lover friend for Valentine's Day. Will definitely be buying more of these cards from Wunderkid." —Sonnystuff

    Get it from Amazon for $8.95

    25. A card for the work friend who makes all those Zoom meetings bearable (by messaging you off-color jokes the entire time, natch).

    A white card with "Thanks for being my work BFF" in red type, with two drawings of computers—one says "I hate this place," the other says "Me too :)"
    Knotty Cards / Etsy

    Knotty Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 and based in Charleston, SC that specializes in "cards that tie people together."

    Promising review: "I can't actually express how perfect this artwork is to convey the way I feel about my work BFF. I got two cards from Knotty Cards because they were SO spot on. Super fast shipping, great quality. 10/10" —Mahjida Steffin

    Get it from Knotty Cards on Etsy for $5

    26. A creepy card, so you can wish a spooky St. Valentine's to the loved one who always helps you get in touch with your inner Sanderson sister.

    A black card with gold etchings of a voodoo doll and a palmistry hand, and the words "Let's do weird things together" in white
    TheCraftyBurrEato on Etsy

    The Crafty Burr Eato is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Coventry, UK run by a "spooky Little Disney Goth sharing her Greetings cards."

    Promising review: "Really good quality card, will definitely be buying more from this seller." —Denise Lee

    Get it from The Crafty Burr Eato on Etsy for $5.98

    27. A card that immortalizes that first Valentine's Day together, when you're like, "Wait, should I even get a card? Did you do that? Are we doing that??"

    A card with a red border and white center that says "Is it weird that I got you a Valentine's Day card? (please say no)."
    KatFrenchDesign on Etsy

    Kat French Design is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Dallas, TX that makes "positively fun paper goods."

    Promising review: "The card is absolutely adorable, the packaging and service was perfect. Thank you!" —Thielens K

    Get it from Kat French Design on Etsy for $5

    28. A card for your friend most likely to rock double-denim.

    A white card with a drawing of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wearing denim outfits at the VMAs, with the words "Roses are red, denim is blue, it wouldn't be Valentine's Day without you" written around them
    Hollaback Cards on Etsy

    Hollaback Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2014 and based in Miami, FL that specializes in pop-culture-based cards and mugs.

    Promising review: "I love Hollaback Cards! I first found her on Instagram, great content, and I knew I had to support! Will 100% be purchasing from her again!!" —Erica

    Get it from Hollaback Cards on Etsy for $6.50

    29. A card that acknowledges that love is all about shared interests (like avoiding everyone else...together).

    A white card that says "Be anti-social with me" in red type
    SadShop on Etsy

    Sad Shop is an Etsy shop founded in 2011 and based in Seattle, WA that wants you to "Share your feelings and change the world!"

    Promising review: "Such adorable and thoughtfully created cards! Received these very promptly even with the holiday rush!" —betty jarvis

    Get it from Sad Shop on Etsy for $5

    30. A totally honest card, so you can let your love know that you truly are a hopeless romantic.

    A black card with pink cut-out reading "I'm not sick of you yet"
    SpaceQueenCo on Etsy

    Space Queen Co is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in DeLand Highlands, Florida that is a "cosmic crafter creating out of this world gifts & more!"

    Promising review: "Great quality and fast shipment!!! Thank you!!" —Laura Martinez

    Get it from Space Queen Co on Etsy for $5 (available in 10 envelope colors)

    31. A card for the person you actually spend your workday with.

    A white card with a blue text message-style bubble that says "You're my favorite person to message all day while I'm at work" in white
    theadventurecorner on Etsy

    The Adventure Corner is an Etsy shop founded in 2018 and based in Denver, CO that makes handcrafted candles and cards.

    Promising review: "Perfect. Very fast shipping. Excellent seller." —thill4880

    Get it from The Adventure Corner on Etsy for $3.50

    32. A card that proves that love solves everything (except snoring, you need to buy those little nose strips for that).

    A white card that reads "I lie awake at night wondering how I got so lucky (and also because you snore)" in black type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "It’s bigger than a standard card, which was great for leaving a nice, long note inside. Very sturdy and good quality, and he got a big kick out of the front. Be careful that you use a quick dry pen, because the inside is glossy and it will smear!" —Amazon customer

    Get it from Amazon for $5.99

    33. A Rihanna card so your loved one can know that your love shines bright like a diamond (but also, you do NOT have the money for a diamond, so they better be happy with this).

    A drawing of Rihanna on a white card, with "I Ri Ri Like You" written above it in black
    kokocards on Etsy

    Koko Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Toronto, Canada that's all about "Spread greeting cards, not germs."

    Promising review: "Kokocards is amazing! Love the original artwork, which makes giving these cards to friends way more personal." —safiadhanji

    Get it from Koko Cards on Etsy for $5.77

    34. A card that conveys your interest in slamming your body down and winding it all around, as it were.

    A card with a white-and-pink marbled background and full-color drawings of the Spice Girls, with the words "I really, really wanna zigga-zig ah...with you!" written in black on the botttom
    PorkChopUk on Etsy

    Pork Chop UK is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 that makes illustrated greeting cards for all occasions.

    Promising review: "I ordered several card designs from PorkChop UK. The owner even designed a special birthday card for me. So creative and easy to work with. I definitely recommend ordering from PorkChop UK and I will definitely be reordering." —Louise Sagor

    Get it from Pork Chop UK on Etsy for $5.45

    35. A card for the couple whose love language is sarcasm.

    A white card with black type that reads "I just wanted to offer my condolences on your having to be in a relationship with me"
    etsy.com

    Squidge Face Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Leiston, United Kingdom that creates "cheeky cards for all occasions."

    Promising review: "Loved it." —Nichole

    Get it from Squidge Face Cards on Etsy for $3.92

    36. A Queer Eye card that will help you say, "this relationship is absolutely shamazing."

    A purple card with a drawing of Jonathan Van Ness from "Queer Eye," and "Who gave you permission to be this cute?" written in white script
    Foggish on Etsy

    Foggish is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in London, UK that makes funny cards and colorful gifts.

    Promising review: "Such a cute card, very well made! Made it just in time for Valentine's Day!" —Halley

    Get it from Foggish on Etsy for $4.56

    37. A card for couples where the Forensic Files is the third person in your relationship.

    Amazon

    Promising review: "My husband hates long mushy cards, he's more of a jokester, so this card was perfect for him. He laughed when he read it. I recommend this." —Charity

    Get it from Amazon for $4.25

    38. A card featuring Big Mouth's Hormone Monstress, because declarations of love are even better when you imagine Maya Rudolph saying them.

    A drawing of the Hormone Monstress from "Big Mouth," saying "You are a tall drink of water and I am thirsty"
    PenAndMeow on Etsy

    Pen And Meow is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Los Angeles, CA that creates "cute, quirky, handmade greeting cards and gifts."

    Promising review: "Really amazing card and packaged with a lot of love and care!" —satyrsong22

    Get it from Pen And Meow on Etsy for $4.50

    39. A cartoon sea monster card, so you can celebrate the fact that your love, like the mystical kraken, is rare, unstoppable, and has only ever been seen by old-timey pirates (okay, maybe the last one isn't relevant for your specific relationship).

    A cartoon of a kraken hugging a ship, with "What's kraken, Valentine?" written in brown type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "This is the second card I have ordered from Tinybeecards in a month!! Great quality and super cute!! My husband is a legit pirate and I am his siren, this card is perfect for him!!! I will only purchase cards from Tinybeecards from now on!!!" —Jennifer Zehr

    Get it from Amazon for $4.50

    40. A card for the friend who can always make you laugh (even when you're getting kicked out of a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens).

    A drawing of Fran Drescher with "Hey, Best Fran!" typed next to it
    PAPERbyBrandi on Etsy

    PAPER by Brandi is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Greensboro, North Carolina that specializes in pins, earrings, cards, ornaments, and fun pop-culture products.

    Promising review: I would buy from this seller again. Shipping was very quick." —jenny dimick

    Get it from PAPER by Brandi on Etsy for $4

    41. A card that shows the lengths you're willing to go to for love.

    A beige card with a cartoon drawing of a jellyfish, and "If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you" written on it in black
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Hilarious!"—Christina Ann Fera

    Get it from Amazon for $5.99

    42. An extremely serious and dignified card, for reflecting on the many elements that make a great long-term commitment.

    A cartoon drawing of a butt, next to the words "Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever"
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Very thick and sturdy card and envelope. Brought lots of laughs to the Valentine birthday boy." —Jody B.

    Get it from Amazon for $5.99

    43. A cartoon dog card, because any message is better if it is communicated via cartoon dog.

    A white card with a cartoon of a pug wearing heart-shaped sunglasses, that says "I puggin' love you" in black type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "Very cute card, nice quality card stock & envelope. Would purchase again." —NicatNite

    Get it from Amazon for $5.88

    44. A card that shows that relationships are all about balance.

    A white card with a drawing of a red heart and "You make me smile, and also super horny but that's not the point" in black type
    Amazon

    Promising review: "I love buying cards for my husband that make him laugh, and this was such a good one. Perfect to give for an anniversary or when celebrating something. The envelope is so beautiful and the card is bigger than your standard greeting card." —Dannay Rodriguez

    Get it from Amazon for $5.88

    Which card will you choo-choo-choose for your Valentine?

    20th Television / Via giphy.com

    The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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