Updated on Jan 8, 2021

44 Funny Valentine's Day Cards To Make You Laugh

If your Valentine's Day plans are less "candlelit dinners and long-stemmed roses" and more "puns, fart jokes, and a Big Mouth marathon," we've got some cards for you.

Gabrielle Moss

by Gabrielle Moss

BuzzFeed Contributor

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1. A card that gets real about what happens in your bedroom ~after hours~.

A white card with "There is no one else I'd rather lie n bed with and look at my phone next to" written in black handwriting font

2. A punny card for the wordplay lover in your life (or the wool lover in your life! We're not here to judge what you do in your free time).

A drawing of a blue ball of wool, with "Wool you be mine?" written in black type across the top

3. A card that speaks the truth about what truly holds every long-term relationship together.

A white card that says "There's no one else I'd rather annoy" in blue type, with a red heart

4. A card for couples who know that when it comes to love, the intention is more important than the execution.

A card with a cartoon drawing of a mountain that says "I'd climb a mountain for you, but I might only make it this far," with an arrow pointing to the middle of the mountain

5. A sweet (literally) card that celebrates the two things all the best relationships run on: gratitude and pastries.

A pink background with sprinkle print, and two anthropomorphic donuts hold hands, with "I donut deserve you" written below

6. A Friends card, because you love how your Valentine doesn't like it when people eat food off their plate.

A white card with a drawing of Joey Tribbiani from "Friends" and the quote "How you doin'?" written in calligraphic type

7. A doggone cute card that lets your love know you'd like them better if they had four legs and a tail, but they're still alright in your book.

A white card that says "I love you more than dogs" in black, with "more than" crossed out in red, and replaced with "as much as (that's a huge amount"

8. A card for those who know that the couple who WhatsApps together, stays together.

A white card with a drawing of a phone with notifications and "You're still my favorite notification" in type

9. A Euphoria card, so you can celebrate the Rue to your Jules.

A drawing of Rue and Jules from "Euphoria" on a white card, with "I hate everyone in the world but you" written in black above them

10. A card for your home's designated bug-mover-awayer.

A white card that says "Thanks for always being there when I need you most" in black, over a cartoon of a spider trapped under a glass

11. A card that shows that your love is truly for real.

A white card with a color drawing of a toilet paper roll with all the paper gone, and "i still love you" written in black cursive below

12. A charming crustacean card, because your romance began by the sea (or over a shrimp platter).

A white card with a red drawing of a shrimp, and the words "You're shrimply the best" in black

13. A card for couples who are otterly smitten with each other.

A blue card with a drawing of two otters holding hands in the sea and "You're my significant otter" in black type

14. A card that truly gets at the essence of romantic commitment.

A beige card that says "I love you so much that I want you to be the only person to smell my farts" in black type

15. A Tiger King card, because of your love that was forged over Netflix marathon viewings.

A white card with a drawing of a tiger and "I would never feed you to the tigers" in orange type

16. An unidentified fantastic card for the friend who is going to spend their Valentine's Day (and every other day) watching the skies.

A pink card with a drawing of a heart with a spaceship inside it, and the words "Bring me a higher love" outside the heart

17. A card that says your love can survive anything — even 2020.

A white card with black text on front: "The world is a trash fire" and inside: "But you're cool."

18. A straightforward card, so you can celebrate that your relationship survived this cohabitation rite of passage (the interior is blank, in case you need to write out a detailed apology for how you acted while putting together that couch).

The card, which is black type on plain white card stock, and reads "I Love you enough to build Ikea furniture with you"

19. An anatomically charming card for the medical professional who has won your heart (and lungs, and other internal organs).

20. A card that gets straight to the point.

A white card with succulent plants painted on it, and "You don't suck" in yellow-brown

21. An app-related card, so you can celebrate the swipe that made you finally stop swiping.

A white card with a drawing of an orange flame, and the words "You swiped me right off my feet :)"

22. A sarcastic card, because you're just not too sentimental about V-Day (plus, it comes with stickers to personalize the interior and envelope!)

A purple and white card with "Nothing says I love you more than a folded piece of card" written in multicolored retro font

23. A Schitt's Creek card for your Valentine who has excellent taste in TV.

A white card featuring a drawing of David Rose from "Schitt's Creek," with pink hearts and the words "You're simply the best" in black type

24. A card that combines your two passions: your partner and pizza.

A white card with a drawing of a heart-shaped pizza, and "You have a pizza my heart" in handwriting-style type

25. A card for the work friend who makes all those Zoom meetings bearable (by messaging you off-color jokes the entire time, natch).

A white card with "Thanks for being my work BFF" in red type, with two drawings of computers—one says "I hate this place," the other says "Me too :)"

26. A creepy card, so you can wish a spooky St. Valentine's to the loved one who always helps you get in touch with your inner Sanderson sister.

A black card with gold etchings of a voodoo doll and a palmistry hand, and the words "Let's do weird things together" in white

27. A card that immortalizes that first Valentine's Day together, when you're like, "Wait, should I even get a card? Did you do that? Are we doing that??"

A card with a red border and white center that says "Is it weird that I got you a Valentine's Day card? (please say no)."

28. A card for your friend most likely to rock double-denim.

A white card with a drawing of Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake wearing denim outfits at the VMAs, with the words "Roses are red, denim is blue, it wouldn't be Valentine's Day without you" written around them

29. A card that acknowledges that love is all about shared interests (like avoiding everyone else...together).

A white card that says "Be anti-social with me" in red type

30. A totally honest card, so you can let your love know that you truly are a hopeless romantic.

A black card with pink cut-out reading "I'm not sick of you yet"

31. A card for the person you actually spend your workday with.

A white card with a blue text message-style bubble that says "You're my favorite person to message all day while I'm at work" in white

32. A card that proves that love solves everything (except snoring, you need to buy those little nose strips for that).

A white card that reads "I lie awake at night wondering how I got so lucky (and also because you snore)" in black type

33. A Rihanna card so your loved one can know that your love shines bright like a diamond (but also, you do NOT have the money for a diamond, so they better be happy with this).

A drawing of Rihanna on a white card, with "I Ri Ri Like You" written above it in black

34. A card that conveys your interest in slamming your body down and winding it all around, as it were.

A card with a white-and-pink marbled background and full-color drawings of the Spice Girls, with the words "I really, really wanna zigga-zig ah...with you!" written in black on the botttom

35. A card for the couple whose love language is sarcasm.

A white card with black type that reads "I just wanted to offer my condolences on your having to be in a relationship with me"

36. A Queer Eye card that will help you say, "this relationship is absolutely shamazing."

A purple card with a drawing of Jonathan Van Ness from "Queer Eye," and "Who gave you permission to be this cute?" written in white script

37. A card for couples where the Forensic Files is the third person in your relationship.

A red card that says "They will never find your body" in magazine-letter cut-outs on the front

A white card interior that says "as hot as I do, be my Valentine or else!" in magazine cut-out letters

38. A card featuring Big Mouth's Hormone Monstress, because declarations of love are even better when you imagine Maya Rudolph saying them.

A drawing of the Hormone Monstress from "Big Mouth," saying "You are a tall drink of water and I am thirsty"

39. A cartoon sea monster card, so you can celebrate the fact that your love, like the mystical kraken, is rare, unstoppable, and has only ever been seen by old-timey pirates (okay, maybe the last one isn't relevant for your specific relationship).

A cartoon of a kraken hugging a ship, with "What's kraken, Valentine?" written in brown type

40. A card for the friend who can always make you laugh (even when you're getting kicked out of a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens).

A drawing of Fran Drescher with "Hey, Best Fran!" typed next to it

41. A card that shows the lengths you're willing to go to for love.

A beige card with a cartoon drawing of a jellyfish, and "If you got stung by a jellyfish, I would totally pee on you" written on it in black

42. An extremely serious and dignified card, for reflecting on the many elements that make a great long-term commitment.

A cartoon drawing of a butt, next to the words "Roses are red, foxes are clever, I like your butt, let me touch it forever"

43. A cartoon dog card, because any message is better if it is communicated via cartoon dog.

A white card with a cartoon of a pug wearing heart-shaped sunglasses, that says "I puggin' love you" in black type

44. A card that shows that relationships are all about balance.

A white card with a drawing of a red heart and "You make me smile, and also super horny but that's not the point" in black type

Which card will you choo-choo-choose for your Valentine?

20th Television / Via giphy.com

The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.

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