44 Funny Valentine's Day Cards To Make You Laugh
If your Valentine's Day plans are less "candlelit dinners and long-stemmed roses" and more "puns, fart jokes, and a Big Mouth marathon," we've got some cards for you.
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1. A card that gets real about what happens in your bedroom ~after hours~.
Truth and Art Designs is an Etsy shop based in New Jersey that creates greeting cards with "a little somethin' somethin.'"
Promising review: "Nice heavy grade card stock, quality item. Nice change to purchase something like this online and not be disappointed! I'm impressed!" —outlaws1753
Get it from Truth and Art Designs on Etsy for $4.50 (available in three colors and three envelope colors)
2. A punny card for the wordplay lover in your life (or the wool lover in your life! We're not here to judge what you do in your free time).
SKP Ink is an Etsy shop founded in 2013 and based in North Carolina that makes "bad jokes by good people."
Promising review: "This was everything I wanted and more. It also came really quick. Thank you so much for customizing my message on the inside! I can't wait to give this to my significant other for our anniversary!" —valyssa99
Get it from SKP Ink on Etsy for $3.50 (available blank or with a personalized message)
3. A card that speaks the truth about a truly wondrous relationship feat.
The card's interior says: "Truly amazing."
Promising review: "This is for my 18th anniversary, I bought it for my husband, both of us love cats, so when he saw this card, he was laughing a lot~^^" —Claire Chou
Get it from Amazon for $6.95
6. An adorable The Office card, because you love how your Valentine has been salesman of the month for 13 of the last 12 months.
Promising review: "I got this card for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it. It’s a high quality card with a glossy coating!" —Axton Horn
Get it from Amazon for $6.99
9. A Friends card, because what better way is there to tell your Valentine that you want to mate/ watch TV together for life?
Promising review: "t’s so cute!! Very good quality, if someone send this card to me, I will feel I am special." —Franklin T Lam
Get it on Amazon for $3.95
10. A card for your home's designated bug-mover-awayer.
Promising review: "I received exactly as ordered. The card was packaged extremely well in its own plastic jacket. Old-style envelope, which was a distinct unique touch to the card. It came unblemished in pristine condition and packaged well. Will order similar cards again!" —Fuga
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
12. A charming crustacean card, because your romance began by the sea (or over a shrimp platter).
15. A Tiger King card, because of your love that was forged over Netflix marathon viewings.
Promising review: "Very nicely made card. Thick paper and nice envelope." —Tracy Gerlach
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
18. A straightforward card, so you can celebrate that your relationship survived this experience (the interior is blank, in case you need to write out a detailed apology for how you acted while hangry).
Get it from Amazon for $3.96
19. A charming card for the medical professional who has won your heart.
The card's interior says: "I have another body part for you, too!"
Promising review: "Really well designed and printed card. The material is sturdy. The packaging it came in was super cute too. and the shipping was super fast. Satisfied." —jessica gutierrez
Get it from Amazon for $5.98
21. An app-related card, so you can celebrate the swipe that made you finally stop swiping.
Get it from Amazon for $4.49
22. A sarcastic card, because you're just not too sentimental about V-Day (plus, it comes with stickers to personalize the interior and envelope!)
23. A Schitt's Creek card for your Valentine who has excellent taste in TV.
Paige By Designs is an Etsy shop founded in 2015 and based in Buffalo, NY that makes cards, paper goods, banners, and more.
Promising review: "This card looks EXACTLY as pictured on great quality paper. My partner and I are huge Schitt’s Creek fans, and he loved receiving this on Valentine’s Day!" —Rashad Gober
Get it from Paige By Designs on Etsy for $6.07
24. A card that combines your two passions: your partner and pizza.
Promising review: "I love the play on words ... my go to choice for my pizza lover friend for Valentine's Day. Will definitely be buying more of these cards from Wunderkid." —Sonnystuff
Get it from Amazon for $8.95
25. A card for your friend who's incredibly sweet (or who just loves any food that's essentially a sandwich made of candy).
Promising review: "Beautifully crafted cards to send to people you love, and support young artists through school!" —Jeffrey C Cleveland
Get it from Amazon for $8.95
26. A creepy pop-up card, so you can wish a spooky St. Valentine's to the loved one who always helps you get in touch with your inner Sanderson sister.
27. A card that immortalizes that first Valentine's Day together, when you're like, "Wait, should I even get a card? Did you do that? Are we doing that??"
Promising review: "Bought the 'Kinda, Sorta Like You' cat card for my husband for Valentines day. We are cat lovers so it was 'the one.' Came in perfect condition and exactly as presented in the pictures. The price can not be beat either, while looking at the store was hard to find a pretty basic card under $5." —Jess
Get it from Amazon for $3.99
29. A card that brings together the two best things in life: eternal love and Corgi butts.
Promising review: "Cute card. It made my wife happy." —David Bain
Get it from Amazon for $4.99
30. A totally honest card, so you can let your love know that you truly are a hopeless romantic.
Promising review: "Funny card. Well-made. Excellent quality and purchase!" —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $5.99
32. A card that proves that love solves everything (except snoring, you need to buy those little nose strips for that).
Promising review: "It’s bigger than a standard card, which was great for leaving a nice, long note inside. Very sturdy and good quality, and he got a big kick out of the front. Be careful that you use a quick dry pen, because the inside is glossy and it will smear!" —Amazon customer
Get it from Amazon for $5.99
33. A Rihanna card so your loved one can know that your love shines bright like a diamond (but also, you do NOT have the money for a diamond, so they better be happy with this).
Koko Cards is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Toronto, Canada that's all about "Spread greeting cards, not germs."
Promising review: "Kokocards is amazing! Love the original artwork, which makes giving these cards to friends way more personal." —safiadhanji
Get it from Koko Cards on Etsy for $5.72
34. A card that shows how much you appreciate your loved one's willingness to be your personal electric blanket
36. A Queer Eye card that will help you say, "this relationship is absolutely shamazing."
Foggish is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in London, UK that makes funny cards and colorful gifts.
Promising review: "This was the perfect Valentine’s Day card for my best friend!" —Alexis Esposito
37. A card for couples where the Forensic Files is the third person in your relationship.
Promising review: "My partner isn't really a fan of normal cards, and it is hard to get a laugh from anything other than a meme. But this card did the trick. It has suspense, then a funny surprise. I am hoping for a holiday edition of this joke." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Amazon for $4.25
38. A card featuring Big Mouth's Hormone Monstress, because declarations of love are even better when you imagine Maya Rudolph saying them.
Pen And Meow is an Etsy shop founded in 2016 and based in Los Angeles, CA that creates "cute, quirky, handmade greeting cards and gifts."
Promising review: "Really amazing card and packaged with a lot of love and care!" —satyrsong22
Get it from Pen And Meow on Etsy for $4.50
40. A card for the friend who can always make you laugh (even when you're getting kicked out of a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens).
PAPER by Brandi is an Etsy shop founded in 2017 and based in Greensboro, North Carolina that specializes in pins, earrings, cards, ornaments, and fun pop-culture products.
Promising review: I would buy from this seller again. Shipping was very quick." —jenny dimick
Get it from PAPER by Brandi on Etsy for $4
41. A card that shows the lengths you're willing to go to for love.
Promising review: "Hilarious!"—Christina Ann Fera
Get it from Amazon for $5.99
42. An extremely serious and dignified card, for reflecting on the many elements that make a great long-term commitment.
43. A cartoon dog card, because any message is better if it is communicated via cartoon dog.
44. A card that shows that relationships are all about balance.
Promising review: "I love buying cards for my husband that make him laugh, and this was such a good one. Perfect to give for an anniversary or when celebrating something. The envelope is so beautiful and the card is bigger than your standard greeting card." —Dannay Rodriguez
Get it from Amazon for $5.88
Which card will you choo-choo-choose for your Valentine?
The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.